Tuesday, August 04, 2009
No more phone credit and very little internet data..makes me sad.
So uni has started, and I'm surprisingly enthusiastic about it. Im not sure why, but I've reasoned it down to seeing all the young beautiful people, they make me feel youthful and beautiful too! Haha, no seriously though, I think I need to be around new people more...like socialize more, no? I was considering joining my uni gym classes, like yoga or pilates or smth to keep fit..I shall look into it.
And the weather helps my mood too! It's supposed to be the middle of winter, but it's been pretty warm and sunny the whole week, to the extent whereby I'm tempted to wear shorts and tank tops. But I know better..fickle, is the weather.
I've finally gotten round to selling my stuff to ebay, fingers crossed I don't lose too much. You know, ebay in australia must pay to list your stuff up. Sian ji pua. Sell already ebay still charges you a %..wa lao, Singapore is FOC man.
Anyways, I was having dinner with Nu today at home and we had a short convo that I've been thinking about. He says I should add "now" to my sentences when expressing my thoughts or feelings, because I apparantly have a cyncial outlook on the future. If I add a "now", it would show that I have hope that things will take turn for the better. For example: instead of sounding so terminal "I don't think I will ever eat grass", I should say "For now, I don't think I will ever eat grass", so maybe in the future I will consider eating grass.
Surely, no one would describe me as pessimistic. At most, I expect things to have an expiry date, is all...food, batteries, warranties, life. Honestly though, isn't there a slope after a peak? Cliches aren't said too often for no reason, you know: nothing good ever lasts; all good things must come to an end, what goes up must come down. I'm being realistic, not cynical. And this I way, I feel prepared for the worst, in the event that things should take a bad turn.
Out of too far, too hard and too fast, I think falling too fast is the worst. Everything in your grand utopian world changes in a blink of an eye and you won't have the time to recover. You won't even know what hit you till it's gone and left you winded, lost. So you stop praying and start threatening, stop questioning and clam up, stop giving and start negotiating, thinking you can somehow get it back by coercion or manipulation. But it won't work just cos you set the bar too high in the first place, it wasn't even real. I find that looking at the worse alternative saves you a lot of hell sometimes.
Angsty but yea, I still stand by my original position. I don't claim to know the future, but at least I'm prepared for it, come what may.
Phew at least that's off my chest, I think I can go to bed peacefully now. Tomorrow's gonna be a bright sunny day! :D
~sallo
2:56 am
