*muash pit~

2009-09-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

So this is midsem week, and yet I don't feel a thing. I'm just like taking a step at a time, and hoping somehow or other, I'll do exceedingly well. I'm unsure as to whether I'm doing well or not in this course, I got a 2/5 for a test, and for the next I got a 4/5.. i mean, it's just so erratic, i don't know how to judge my performance anymore. On average I guess, I am..well, average.

There must be more to life than this :( I have this niggling feeling that I'm missing something, and I have trouble being content. How can I find the missing link when I don't even know what it is?????? Surely I know I'm fortunate and i'm not ungrateful, but I'm young I need the high. I can make the compromise when I'm retired, or I can sleep when I'm dead.

2009-09-14T22:47:00.000+08:00

very bad ebay addiction.

very bad study-procrastination.

this is very bad.

2009-08-04T02:56:00.004+08:00

No more phone credit and very little internet data..makes me sad.

So uni has started, and I'm surprisingly enthusiastic about it. Im not sure why, but I've reasoned it down to seeing all the young beautiful people, they make me feel youthful and beautiful too! Haha, no seriously though, I think I need to be around new people more...like socialize more, no? I was considering joining my uni gym classes, like yoga or pilates or smth to keep fit..I shall look into it.

And the weather helps my mood too! It's supposed to be the middle of winter, but it's been pretty warm and sunny the whole week, to the extent whereby I'm tempted to wear shorts and tank tops. But I know better..fickle, is the weather.

I've finally gotten round to selling my stuff to ebay, fingers crossed I don't lose too much. You know, ebay in australia must pay to list your stuff up. Sian ji pua. Sell already ebay still charges you a %..wa lao, Singapore is FOC man.

Anyways, I was having dinner with Nu today at home and we had a short convo that I've been thinking about. He says I should add "now" to my sentences when expressing my thoughts or feelings, because I apparantly have a cyncial outlook on the future. If I add a "now", it would show that I have hope that things will take turn for the better. For example: instead of sounding so terminal "I don't think I will ever eat grass", I should say "For now, I don't think I will ever eat grass", so maybe in the future I will consider eating grass.

Surely, no one would describe me as pessimistic. At most, I expect things to have an expiry date, is all...food, batteries, warranties, life. Honestly though, isn't there a slope after a peak? Cliches aren't said too often for no reason, you know: nothing good ever lasts; all good things must come to an end, what goes up must come down. I'm being realistic, not cynical. And this I way, I feel prepared for the worst, in the event that things should take a bad turn.

Out of too far, too hard and too fast, I think falling too fast is the worst. Everything in your grand utopian world changes in a blink of an eye and you won't have the time to recover. You won't even know what hit you till it's gone and left you winded, lost. So you stop praying and start threatening, stop questioning and clam up, stop giving and start negotiating, thinking you can somehow get it back by coercion or manipulation. But it won't work just cos you set the bar too high in the first place, it wasn't even real. I find that looking at the worse alternative saves you a lot of hell sometimes.

Angsty but yea, I still stand by my original position. I don't claim to know the future, but at least I'm prepared for it, come what may.

Phew at least that's off my chest, I think I can go to bed peacefully now. Tomorrow's gonna be a bright sunny day! :D

2009-07-19T05:38:00.004+08:00

Recently, I have been intensely addicted to the internet.. I just can't stop surfing the web!! It's like it's been just introduced to me or something, and my sucky data quota is fast disappearing. I have exceeded it almost every month and it hurts my pocket, what am I going to do??

I tried putting it down to boredom, but even when I'm doing something, I keep thinking about it: eg ebay auctions, blogshops, email.. my life has turned electronic. Look, now I can shop online, entertain myself online, study (bullshitbullshit) online, read news online, socialize online, geez it make me wonder what the internet CAN'T do!

To illustrate how bad this is, I am awake at 5:45am and finding excuses to stay online (thus my reaason for blogging). My emails are checked, no one is online, read all blogs on my bookmarks list, I should really just turn off my laptop and go to sleep. But noooo, here I am, blogging.

Anyway, apart from my ravenous appetite for web access, life has been quite nice. I have a pretty set daily routine, my moods are constant, everything that has happened to me is so-so, I am more or less happy, my whole situation at the mo can be summed up in three words: not too bad. There you go, an update on my unexciting normal stable state of existence.

Coming back to my ridiculous reliance on the internet, I just googled "existence" to find out if it was spelled "existance" or "existence" and I came across this confusing, but with a good point, article. Let me copy and paste the essence of it:

"How do you define your existence? This is the most important question you will ever have to explore. Yet so few actually do, or they define existence by characteristics, ‘I am this or I am that’ but that is not existence, those are just additions to existence. Others will say ‘I am’ and then stop there, as if that is sufficient, even though they may not know exactly what that ‘I am’ is. Others will expand that statement; a famous philosopher once stated, ‘I think therefore I am’ rebutted by yet another as ‘I am therefore I think’. In most cases the ‘I am’ is left unexplained. It just is and that is the end of that.
...
Defining your existence then comes down to a choice. Do you take what is alterable or unalterable as who you are?...[For example] Witnessing a bird in flight is the action of consciousness. Knowing what that bird is, or commenting upon it, is the action of mind...[or] When you are having a dream the same witnessing occurs, as you can see and know the dream, but you cannot access your mind functions to control it...[this] demonstrate that consciousness and your mind functions are two different things." http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/4-6-2005-68186.asp

I've drawn from that and also come to the conclusion that existence and consciousness are two entirely different things. Being conscious simply means being present, perhaps like a person in a vegetative state. They are awake and the can see/hear/breathe/have reflex actions, but do they really exist? Maybe that's why we consider mercy killing to help them cross that fine line between mere consciousness and existence. Existence is actively making choices that defines you and the path that you go down in life, so "I think, therefore I am".

Side track: What of inanimate objects though, how do you choose (for example) a rock to be either conscious or in existence? Maybe I shall just say they are present, to make things less complicated for myself.

So maybe these few days I have been conscious, but not existing. I just take things as they come, in other words, I just keep breathing. And instead of waiting for some momentous event to happen to me, maybe I should be making things happen FOR me... EUREKA!!! That's my epiphany for the month.

Now, if only I could pull away from the computer...

p.s: haha well that was a good waste of time, and I shall go to bed now. Night!

2009-06-16T23:54:00.002+08:00

I know I know, long time no blog. Anyways, the only reason i'm on now is cos I'm super free after exams (and loving it) AND because I am damn excited! My cousin is getting married! And I got asked to be her bridesmaid!! And hang on, wait for it wait for it....in fricking LONDON!!! *bounces up and down with glee*

What a awesome combination of the 3, don't you think. And I was griping in my 2nd last post that I had a sudden urge to see my friends get married, well, this will do too :)

Later on when I've calmed down, I'll probably start to think about how young she is (like 23?24?25?26?27?28?). And how I never knew she had a boyfriend (Romeo's name is Max). And how my mum told me that they met only quite recently the UK. Hmm, food for thought indeed.

Ah well, who cares, I'm perfectly happy to attend her wedding and now I've got something to look forward to when I graduate. I'm glad she has found love with someone (whom I haven't even met, hopefully he's wonderful) Who know, I might meet Julien and possy there haha. SHIT, come to think of it, my fucking perth aunt will most probably be there as well, wahhh -_-"' I'll deal with it when the time comes.

pleaase let the bridesmaids dress be hot and not disgustingly poofy/frilly/in hot pink. HOLIDAY TIME :D:D

2009-03-29T16:52:00.003+08:00

Managerial control 301 is evilll. It involves reports then length of 5 GP essays. And you have to conduct research on market share and substitutes and new entrants, gah. I am stuck on Threat of Substitutes at the moment, and my mind keeps wandering. Oh my report is about BMW, so Im thinking about potential cars I could buy. So much more exciting than this report.

Im not homesick, but I do miss Singapore. I dunno if it's because I'm in holiday mode every time I go back, or if it's just cos home is where the heart is. Maybe it's cos im sick of perth, the novelty of it has faded after 1.5years and i'm yearning for change.

Anyhoo, its getting cold in perth. Time to grow fur and hibernate.

2009-03-16T23:29:00.006+08:00

"it would have been foolish to take up your offer. but i was a fool for you.
only now when i see things clearer, i see that you were fool for me too"

i can't stand not knowing, and it's hard to forget about it when the suspense is greater. all the ifs and could-have-beens, but i realise i only imagine the good stuff, never the downsides. expectations can turn out bad, like biting into a sweet apple, only to find you've also bitten into a worm. i dont think i will forget cos these pictures bring back so many memories, but i will let go eventually.

i have this sudden urge to see my friends get married, i want to be invited to weddings so badly. I think it's the idea of being able to dress up in pretty gowns/dresses, admire the decor, eat good food, and be surrounded by very happy people. I can't think of any other occasion that matches a wedding atmosphere, they're all very safe and peaceful..they are full of GOOD. someone, just go get hitched pleaaseeeee, make me your bridesmaid!!

oh and I've been saving up for a car recently, and it's taking so long. wait for good news, guys!!

(Happy birthday, daddy. have a great one, without me.)

2009-02-15T16:51:00.005+08:00

Oh mannnn, i fly off on wednesday which is just 3 days away. I am homesick even before I leave home, i'm so sad! The "grass on the other side" metaphor doesnt work in this scenario leh...the grass in Singapore is so so so green, it's almost turquoise. I will miss my mummy, and my friends, and my island. Home truly is where the heart belongs, there is no place like home, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Ahhh damn all these cliche quotes. I am not set to fly at all.

2009-01-27T00:34:00.002+08:00

I. REALLY. DO. HATE. CHINESE. NEW. YEAR.

keep your angpaos. i want my peace.

after working for 2 weeks, i feel pretty loaded. but i know half of that money isn't really mine, so i've gotta be careful not to splurge in some mad spree. and i won't get to watch breakout, but on the upside, i save on the dollars. i've planned out my whole remaining 2 weeks, and i'm sure i'm missing out on smth/someone..the week's highlight: ling's birthday party. Omg i can't believe ur gonna be 21! I can't believe we've come so far! Anw i love you la, if you're reading this, i hope you know that. Here's to 6 years of friendship and a zillion more to come, cheers babe.

2008-12-27T23:17:00.001+08:00

Hold your own,
know your name
go your own way.

Everything will be fine
everything, and in time,
hearts will hold.

yes jason mraz, i hear you.

2008-12-26T23:41:00.001+08:00

TEST. and hello to a new start.

2006-12-25T02:06:00.000+08:00

I am sooo happy!! This is a really cool xmas!

Anw im really sorry i cldnt make it out with josh tnite, sorry sorry soryy. If ur reading this, then i promise we'll go when u next get out kay!!

Church arh, must go lah. Since i rarely go, better go for xmas mass so that i dont feel so guilty haha.

I had to kneel down a few times during e prayers and i halfway thru, my wound reopened. So shit lah! Damn pain, and i felt like leaping up... but i didnt dare suddenly spring up over a crowd of pious praying people. Wlda looked so wierd. And during this particular long prayer, it felt like a millionnnnn years. And e priest wasnt helping. Do u noe, amongst e kids, we call him Father Snail. He drags evvvvvvvvvveeeeeerrrrrrryyyyy word...I think i was being punished for smth.

Oh but it was so worth it. Derrick was serving as alter boy! Hahahahaha!! Finally after 2 years, we meet again, gosh. FINALLY! I went all e way to queue for like 5mins at his queue for communion, and got like 5 seconds with him. All i cld say was "Amen" (to e priest) before i had to put e eucharist in my mouth. So just smile stupidly at each other, what to do. RICK, if u see this, we must catch up soon!!!

Okay im ending here, i need to nurse e stupid wound.

Merry christmas, all :) Have a great one.

2006-12-20T16:17:00.000+08:00

Arh i feel a bit dumb after seeing my severely psycho posts abt Dmitry, haha never mind, e memories of my crazy adolescence for when i'm all grown up n successful muahaha.

E rain is crazy!! It's been raining non-stop for like 2 days? And it's gg to be e 3rd soon...

I love e rain, except for tdae. Cos it made me slip n fall, and i scraped my knee. And to make it worse, e rain dripped on it and mixed with e blood, so it kept rolling red streaks down my leg. It looked so bad!! So paiseh!! And i had to take a cab n endure stares sheesh!

Anw hung out with wai n gel again tdae! YAY!! So e injury was worth it :) Shir cldnt make it tho..we got lost in vivo and walked past starbucks (or is it coffeebean?) a million times, just trying to find e cinema and a good place to eat. Damn fed up.

Oh we watched Eragon! Yes, e guy is shuai. We all agree in e end, altho gel keeps saying he's fat. HUH????? Blind bat. Wai kept falling asleep tho, wth!! And since she kept covering her eyes during e SLIGHLTY gory parts, i think she missed most of e show hahah. I quite like it tho...fantasy hehe.

It was still pouring when we got out..and it was really bad! Plus it was 12 so we didnt have any buses home. Heng we got a ride home from gel's dad..phew!

Okay anw, here's shots in NYDC and eski bar...Eski's a really 'cool' place wahahha! The foggy pics are due to e extreme cold, so can u imagine us freezing. The bar is made outta ICE!::

Yupp, that's that!

2006-12-18T22:05:00.000+08:00

Im in mourning. Let me be.

Дмитрий Александрович Чаплин...Dimitry Alexandrovich Chaplin.
That's his name in russian, but my blog wont publish it nicely. Idiots.

If this posting had a song, it'd be Fort Minor's "Where'd you go". Cos i miss you so. I'm so sad you got voted off the show.

And i'm even more pissed that when i was looking thru e net for pics of you, wikipedia had a whole entry about you and cos i read every line oh-so-carefully, i also found out e winner of this season's "So u think u can dance". Shit.

I actually cried for you, so u must mean a lot to me. I havent reached e stage where i can say "i adore you", cos i've been fighting that feeling for a while. I mean, why crush on a guy i have a 0.00000001% chance of ever noeing right? So see, i'm a level-headed pathetic sod.

Anw, i'll get over this and hopefully it won't last too long. Meanwhile, i'm going to learn russian.

I think i'm fated (in a super super unlucky way) with Dmitry-s. First there was e Khazakstan Dmitry whom Xinyi, e lucky bitch (sorry u noe i do love u), got to hang out with. Then there was this one. ARGH! How 'sway' for me...haha get e pun? Sorry, dry humour in my sad depressing state.

I noe u think i'm mad. I'll probably think so in a few days/weeks/months/years. Let me rot in despair for a while now...bye, cruel world.

2006-12-18T21:05:00.000+08:00

MY WORLD IS CRASHING!!! ARGHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!PLEASE SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!! PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE!!! PUHHHH-LEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSEEE.....NOOOOOO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!!

HELP. SAVE ME. I AM DYING. I REALLY AM. QUICKQUICKQUICK PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE PUT DMITRIY BACK ON THE SHOW, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!! I WILL DO ANYTHING!!! PLEASE!!!!!

I WILL DIE IF HE GOES/LEAVES/VANISHES/DISAPPEARS FROM MY LIFE....NONONONONONO.....DO THE PRODUCERS FROM "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE" REALLY WANT TO SEE SOMEONE DIE SUCH A PAINFUL HORRIBLE DEATH BECAUSE OF THEM?????

PLEEEEEAAAASSSSSSEEE, I WILL KNEEL IN THE RAIN, I WILL RUN 10000000KM, FROM SINGAPORE TO RUSSIA, I WILL SACRIFICE GREEN TOWEL ON A PYRE AND PERSONALLY SET HIM ON FIRE, I WILL GIVE UP MY ENTIRE LIFE SAVINGS (U CAN BUY 5 BAGS OF PEANUTS WITH THAT), I WILL DO ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG....... PLEEEEEAASSSEEE!!!!

HOW CAN AMERICA CHOOSE RYAN OVER DMITRY??!!! DMITRY IS BLOODY TALENTED AND IT'S SO OBVIOUS FROM THE WAY HE MOVES/GLIDES/FLOATS. HE'S A FRICKIN GREEK GOD INCARNATE!!! AND HE'S SO FUNNY AND SUAVE AND CHEEKY AND SO SO SO PERFECT. AND HE'S THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET.

I BET YOU HE IS THE SEXIEST MAN ON MARS, VENUS, JUPITER, NEPTUNE, PLUTO, MERCURY, SATURN, URANUS AND ALL THE BLACKHOLES PUT TGT. SHOVE OVER, GEORGE CLOONEY.

I THINK I'M HYSTERICAL. I NEED A BROWN PAPER BAG TO HYPERVENTILATE IN (Red Cross taught me that). I THINK I WILL DIE ANY MINUTE NOW. THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD!!! DMITRY, LET'S GO TO MARS, MAYBE THEY HAVE A BETTER JUSTICE SYSTEM. CAN'T GO VENUS, COS I THINK GOT TOO MANY CHIOBU THERE...I WANT YOU FOR MYSELF.

HOW CAN AMERICANS BE SO IDIOTIC!!!!

2006-12-17T02:13:00.000+08:00

The innocent victims of Internet child abuse cannot speak for themselves.

But you can.
With your help, we can eradicate this evil trade.

We do not need your money.

We need you to light a candle of support
.

We're aiming to light at least One Million Candles by December 31, 2006.

This petition will be used to encourage governments, politicians, financial
institutions, payment organisations, Internet service providers, technology
companies and law enforcement agencies to eradicate the commercial
viability of online child abuse.

They have the power to work together. You have the power to get them to
take action.

Please light your candle at lightamillioncandles.com
http://www.lightamillioncandles.com or send an email of support to
light@lightamillioncandles.com.

Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child abuse
sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children.

Kindly forward this email to your friends, relatives and work colleagues so
that they can light a candle too.

2006-12-14T01:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was soooo fun!! Me, wai, shir and gel (hu got back frm NZ) all went out for dinner at Holland V. Who knew Holland V was so nice??!

Im in love with it, the atmosphere at night is really great! There's this closed off road that doesnt look like much in the day, so the few times that i go there, i just pass thru it without taking much notice. But when i got there at night, i got totally lost cos since i dont pay much attention to it in e day, and at night...gosh, everything gets worse by looking so different.

So anw i found them, and damn, i was e last one to get there. Was hoping to win at least shirlynn in e late-game. TSK. I realise we're such indecisive pple, cos we kept pushing e "u choose lah" around, wondering where to eat. We finally settled on NYDC. The menu there is bloody hilarious!! They have dishes named "hot hot baby", "pig me up, baby" (a pork dish duh), and mudpies named "grandma's going nuts, seriously" or smth like that. But can u imagine ordering?? Like "Hi, i'd like a hot hot baby please."

I have a feeling we made a lot of noise n we took foreva to order. Aiyah, in e end we ordered pretty normal stuff...nothing that was too embarrassing to say...we have no guts lah. Oh, i had "Destiny's Child" btw.

Then after dinner, we wandered along that closed off road and i was looking at the open-air pubs and e pple in them. It was so cosy!! It wasnt sleazy or shady, u noe. U can see fathers carrying babies and just strolling abt, pple walking their dogs, and everyone's just lounging arnd in slippers, berms, and polos...relaxing, people-watching...my kind of thing.

Oh and i have a new-found hobby! Pubbing! We wanted to go into Walawala (is that e name of e pub?) but it was full of people, so we tried this place called Eski Bar (i think). There was a sign outside that said "Sub zero pub", and we were all in pretty much summer wear. Then being indecisive we just stood outside and cldnt make up our minds. SIGH! Wai was really lame and stuck her hand thru e door and waved it arnd inside to test e temperature...the pple inside must have thot "WHAT THE HECK IS SHE DOING???". A guy even opened e door and asked "So u wanna come in?". ARGHH, so paiseh.

We went in finally and there's this room at e back of the bar. IT IS SUBZERO. TOTALLY SUBZERO. HONESTLY HONESTLY SUBSUBSUB ZEROOOO. When u talk, u can see ur breath coming out as vapour. The bar top counter is ICE ICE BABY. (no, not hot hot baby. thats at NYDC haha) N the most obvious evidence that it truly IS subzero is that we froze inside. I think low temps make us mad cos we kept screaming and laffing abt the cold and taking really lame photos, pretending to be bartender and licking the ice...i show u when shirlynn emails us e pics!!

We had yummy cocktails too! Me n wai shared a lychee martini, geline had a marguerita, and shir had a Singapore Sling. We wanted to stay in e cold room till our drink froze, but we froze before they did and had to come out into e non-cold room.

Oh and shit, bcos we were so bloody indecisive, we missed the one-for-one drink offer by mere minutes. And we didnt dare order "sex on the beach" or "blowjob" cos we'd just snort in laughter halfway thru e order. We shall be braver on tuesday tho, yes we shall.

Pig me up baby, then have sex on the beach, and what do u get? A hot hot baby.

2006-12-12T00:37:00.000+08:00

Javier is gg in on fri. How bloody fast is that? N we havent eaten tau huay yet! Im really sad :(:(:( Byeee pal, enjoy life in prison...take care and come out a better man k!

Geline is back from NZ, n we're all meeting her tmr! Then Nat is coming back frm aussie and we'll all finally meet after what, 2years. Goodgoodgood. Ah well, say bye to some and say hi to some.

I miss alex :( when will he come back.

I saw e prom pics omgomgomg. How come i look fat??? Anw im laffing as i view them, but it's not a wahhaha-jolly laugh, it's more of a I-wanna-faint-and-die laugh. Nvm for e memories. Okay here they are, courtesy of sam:

At our turf, canele. Thanks jes for e wonderful bdae surprise!

dont ask...

i wish...

phufff!

That's not our cake.

This is our cake! so cute right! Jes rocks.

The best service ever, and a great great pal. I love u! :D

Oops sorry jes

Yay perfect!

e girls that went

e cool dudes strike again. Take it that we were drunk to be wearing those.

Hi brandon!

All e 65ers that went :D. Omg look, im fat.

2006-12-11T02:46:00.000+08:00

Im so proud of Remy Ong!! He is sooooo seh!

I just finished watching the Men's Master and he had to play for 2nd/3rd and then 1st/2nd consecutively. Altho he came in 2nd, he did a really really brilliant job!! Me and my mum gave him a standing ovation at e end of it all.

I dont really like e body building competition tho...it looks painful every time they flex...*shudders*.

When's e Doha games gonna end btw?

My mum made a scene at a shoe shop tdae...arghh it was so embarrassing, but still must support her n act angry with e salesgirl rite. And anw she was arguing with e salesgirl cos IIIIII bought e wrong shoe size, so my fault lah, i admit. I got fearsome parents...They both don't shirk at making scenes. I wonder then, how come i'm sucha coward?

2006-12-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

GAHH! I am so mad that Genting won the bid to the IR. Honestly whywhywhy? I don't think e reasons given were very satisfactory lehh.

The ST said the trump cards were:
1)Family-orientated theme Universal Studios
2)Oceanarium, maritime museum, water park
3)30 thousand job opps, $2.7billion econ boost.

BUT

1) Har. Okay lor, but u really wanna compete with Walt Disney?

2) Okay since we're going to have the world's largest oceanarium, then wohoo! we're finally the biggest in something structurally. Sounds cool too. But a maritime museum?? We alr have one in Sentosa and i don't think it was sucha hit. I guess a water theme park is family-orientated enuf, but COME ON!!!

Vera Wang could unite all women in e name of fashion, Pele could spread e spirit of brotherhood thru sport (n maybe help e S League get somewhere), Alain Ducasse bonds us even more to each other by exploring our common love for good food, and Deepak Chopra ...well, need i say more. And the crater-idea came with a theme park too, didnt it???

The CapitaLand one was impressive too! With the WOAH futuristic facade and e robotics within, how better to portray Singapore as a techno-hub? Fusionpolis is only gg to be accessible to R&D staff, but e Kernzer-designed casino will be open to THE WORLD. And i thot we're suppose to support local firms?

3) U mean e rest won't?

I guess cos since Genting wins, Malaysia is happy. Oh well, i rather get more water than have an out-of-this-world, incomparable, iconic casino e world will be in awe of.

2006-12-07T20:23:00.000+08:00

I'm not happy with the way condos are popping up arnd my area.

5 years ago, i cld look out of ALL the windows and have unobstructed views of endless horizon. But within that time, 4 condos and 1 Great World City have sprouted up. Now i cannot watch fireworks from my bedroom window during NDP, and i my view is rudely interrupted by concrete (but kinda pretty) condo facades.

And the shit thing is, my privacy is severely limited!! I WANT TO COMPLAIN. I cannot freely strip (to change clothes, that is) without having to close the curtains first. Since for the first 13 years of my life, i didnt have to worry about such stupid things, i find it a DAMN BLOODY hassle. Old habits die hard lah.

Apart from worrying abt pple looking in from all sides, i worry abt me looking out from all sides too. What if i kena caught for voyeurism?? Accidental peeping-tom or not, i dun want any police record to my name, thanks.

And talk abt the jealousy. The new condos arnd my house come furnished with ENORMOUS plasma tvs. Like at least 30 inches?! That means i can sometimes watch their tv. Oh can choose channels sumore...11th floor watching DVD, 12th floor watching cable AXN, 13th watching BBC, etc. My free tv watching extends only from 11th floor to 15th floor tho.

Anw the reason why i'm blogging abt this now, is cos the person on the 12th floor of MUTIARA VIEW is watching porn. He's paused the DVD for now, but still can see a boob. WOnder where he went to...hmm.

2006-12-02T00:27:00.000+08:00

I have nothing to wear!!

2006-11-29T01:51:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe i'm having such a hard time about James Bond!!! Everyone is giving me flak just cos i don't think he's a good successor. Okay fine fine fine, the new James Bond rocks...he is as sauve, as good-looking, as charming, more hunky than sean connery or pearce brosnan will ever be. HAPPY???!!

Btw...

HA! So there.

2006-11-29T01:10:00.000+08:00

I went for this Crescent Musical at the esplanade yest with Raiza. It was so-so...i guess after being exposed to better quality dance performances from SA's rapture, Crescent's one was a bit...hum-dee-dum.

Then again, they're only what, 12-16 year olds? Good job lah, guys. *claps hands*

Anw it was good seeing people again. Like (wahahahah!!) Mr Loh, looking as blur and as stiff as ever! Then there was Mrs Ow, shoulder still jerking habitually. I wanted to stand up and scream at her during the performance cos it annoyed the heck outta me. Oh and the principal...raiza saw her while waiting for me, but no big deal. Didn't see Mr M. tho!! So sad!

Then there were the juniors. Gosh, we kept making eye contact with random familiar faces and we'd stare at each other for like 10 seconds before smiling and waving. I have no idea what their names are lah. Raiza was like "Just smile and wave, boys. Just smile and wave." HAHA! That's a qoute from the penguins in Madagascar, fyi.

And i liked the ending where everybody shouted the "gimme a C...C...gimme an R...R...gimme an E...E..." cheer, true as ever to Crescent tradition.

My shitty heels gave me a bloody blister. I mean "bloody" literally by the way. I'm reduced to wearing flipflops till it heals, i guess. Nvm, i still love my hols :)

2006-11-26T01:55:00.000+08:00

My dad just took me on a day trip to malaysia. Why?? So we can raid their shops and clean out Giant hypermart hahah.

And going by the insane jam on the causeway today, we weren't the only ones...See?! That's what raising GST (again) does to Singaporeans. We run elsewhere to spend our money cos we believe we can get more for our buck, and Singapore revenue is leaked to malaysia. How does it help OUR poor lah, honestly.

Anw, i kinda realised that we're overly fixated on the the fact that prices are lower in malaysia. Just cos the ringgit is lower, we go "aiyah buy lah buy lah, it's so cheap anw". Then on the long tedious journey back, u start realising that the money u brought with u has dwindled to the extent that u barely have enough to pay the frickin tolls.

My dad is wierd...he just suddenly comes up with the idea to drive all the way across the causeway, just cos he has a craving for satay. OH well, i love him all the more hahaha...I'm so overstuffed at the moment, i think i'll just go roll off to bed now.

I love my holidays :)

2006-11-23T22:51:00.000+08:00

Do you know, that in the US, Happyfeet topped the movie charts? So it beat Casino Royale, which came in 2nd.

The new 007 must feel so shitty since it's like his debut, and he lost to a penguin.

2006-11-23T22:34:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH it's finally over!! I dunno what im feeling actually, it's a mix betwn relief and dread, cos i dont feel that good abt maths and chem.

LET'S HOPE I'M UNDERESTIMATING THE POWER OF MODERATION. I want at least an ABB pleasepleaseplease, but it seems kinda...far. Bio rocks my world.

What the hell happened today, honestly?? Where did the whole class disappear to after the paper...arent we all supp to hang out, at least share a meal or watch a show. Oh wellll haha.

Im BLOATED. Like since 1pm. Cos Leeling made me go for a buffet, and since i suck at buffet-gorging, i got forced-fed by her. I can't believe she keeps track of the cost of each plate lah!!! Thank goodness im underweight.

I FINALLY WATCHED HAPPYFEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S THE BESSSSTTTTTT SHOW OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!! OMGOMGOMG THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEE and the singing ROOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKSSSSSSSSS!!!

I WANT A BABY PENGUIN.

2006-11-01T14:38:00.000+08:00

Damn.

See, e whole of yesterday, i've been running around Old Europe, flitting btwn Paris and Britain. I hate how Queen Elizabeth keeps calling me and Dierdre Griffin back to her palace to wait on her, especially when there are far more impt matters on our hands. Werewolves are causing havoc in the streets of Paris, instilling fear and inciting riots.

Worst of all, our cousin, Hal Kirkwood, has been captured by El Lobison...the evil spaniard. He calls himself Master of Werewolves, using his mesmirizing werewolf priestess to convert men to wolves, hence builing an army to terrorize Europe. All in a bid to place England under a shroud of fear, while the Spanish Armada prepares its attack.

Beautiful, brave, intelligent Hal, the love of my life. He has suffered so much under El Lobison's hands. After his escape, he battles the wolf in him every night when the moon banes. He withdraws from us, his family, to protect us from his thirst for blood. Dierdre's and my duties as future Pendragon and Merlin of Britain pull us away from him, under the Queen's orders that duty to country comes before duty to love. The STUPID queen hence arranges our wedding to Sir Michael Maelstrom, one of the Queen's spies and our best friend...but he is not Hal.

We weave spell after magic spell to prevent the Spanish warships from reaching Britain's shores, with the help of faeries, elves, demons and the ghosts of our ancestors. Michael dies in the attack and we mourn for his death. Meanwhile Hal watches over us from a distance, and by this time he has full control of the wolf within him, no longer a pawn of the damned spaniard. He launches his own attack on El Lobison, killing him. He then joins me and Dierdre, finally reuniting our love, and adds his magic to aid us.

Yes, we defeat the Spanish inquisition and Hal is hailed as the new Pendragon of Britain. As Dierdre and I have expended all our magic during the war, we cannot undertake the role of Pendragon due to the loss of our magic. We are the Merlin. Hal and Dierdre have a child, and together with their familiars, Helwraieth, Coffa and Newynog, begin their new journey as the respected and revered Pendragon and Merlin of Europe.

Okay, obviously i've been reading yet another fantasy book.

SIGHHH and now i've fallen from cloud nine to plonk back into the reality of the looming A levels. Oh and i realised it starts tmr.
Why are there such good books in the world??? I have wasted one day of studying time, very good.

Oh but i have benefitted something from reading this book!! Iho del puta...means son of a bitch in spanish. Woohoo.

Btw thanks for rmbring, all of u who rmbrd :)

2006-10-21T00:31:00.000+08:00

Why don't i feel loved enough.

2006-10-15T19:30:00.000+08:00

I realise this is not very recent, but haha, HU CARES!!! This is us, on our ant-canning/tree-climbing/wedding couple-chasing/leaf tsunami picnic...

i like this convo, said when xinyi kept using tuna cans to kill ants that were bugging us...excerpts:

Me: Can u can that ant?
Xy: Can!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA

2006-10-15T19:11:00.000+08:00

I HAVE SEEN VIVO!! Oh man, is it huge.

Anw HAPPY BDAE, YANGHONG!! (doubt u'll see this tho haha, but it's e thought that counts)

Yeah, so me and wai were supp to meet an hour before e meeting time so we cld hunt for a bdae prezzie for our darling senior. I was late, paiseh, so in e end, we had abt 20mins to chiong! We ran around the whole place like morons, jz trying to cover as much ground as possible, but nothing seemed like the perfect gift.

So guess what. We ended up racing over to HARBOURFRONT to buy her flowers. HOW LAME!!! And u wld think vivo wld have enuf shops to satisfy our needs right? Diao!

Oh and cos we were so tired after running arnd, we went up to the rooftop to rest. It is damn pretty!! And cos it was at night, there was this really cosy atmosphere to it. And wai kept going "How romantic!". I wonder if anyone thought we were lesbos, cos u noe, she was saying that and holding a bouquet of flowers. Hahahha.

The bdae dinner with our seniors was sweet. Really great to see them again :) We made a pact to invite each other to our weddings haha..see how foward-looking we are?

Anw, my condolences to Weishan. You'll be in my prayers tonight...Hugs.

2006-10-14T01:44:00.000+08:00

Oh gee i'm so sleepy...but then...TODAY IS FAREWELL ASSEMBLY!!! So must blog abt it before i forget anything abt it hahahah!

Do u noe that i woke up this morning just for it?? So must be an extra special day right? Well, it was cool, with the teachers performing and the class photo-taking and stuff. Do u noe, i really laffed DAMN hard during the dancing thing...OMG, that is psycho. The whole thing was just SOOOOO WIERD!!! The costumes, and the moves and SERIOUSLY, what's with the sieve-like accessory?! Anw, i wanted to tear a bit when the teachers started talking abt love, cos i suddenly felt like they really loved us at that moment.

Okay, i kopped pics off samme's blog...

We all look happy! Rare, cos shawn smiles like once in a blue moon

The best chem tutor, the chong-ster!!!

Samme, carol and me

Just us :)

Our wonderful CT, ms wong! :D
Can u see the word?? It's "JAW"! It's our little secret muahaha

2 cliques tgt!

Javier and me

another 2 cliques tgt! (minus jesmine, dunno where she went)

Me, kai and samme

Okay okay this is damn funny! We were trying to do those olden days family portrait where everyone looks stern..but then i shouted "Don't smile!!" at e last minute, so half e class still ended up smiling. Anw check out Javier's face wahhahaha!

Take two. Success eh?

And last but not least...e best piccy of e day! Don't u think we kinda formed a heart shape??? And totally not on purpose!! So i guess we must love each other in some way huh.

2006-10-11T14:39:00.001+08:00

I fell down the double-decker bus yesterday.

You noe, the bloody spiral staircase?? Yes, that's the cause of my embarrassement and TOTAL shame. Oh, it's la raison for my dark purple bruises and abrasions too. (I wish i could add lacerations to the list, so i have a reason to sue the SBS driver ahahahah...)

SEE LAH, ALL BEGUM'S FAULT!!! She, the idiot woman, wanted to get down to the first level landing even tho the bus was like a million lightyears away from the bustop!!! Then i'm carrying 5 tys-like books in my arms, so i cant really hold on to railings and im top-heavy (i mean, due to the books arh haha). So when the bus braked for i dunno what reason, im so obviously weighted to fall forward right?!?!?!?!

You noe, when a guy proposes to a girl in the movies, he gets down on one knee and the other is at a 90 degree angle. I was kinda proposing to the man hu was at the bus doors waiting to get off. Let's see...my left knee was somewhere on the 2nd top step, and my right leg was stretched all the way down to the landing...im sure he was amazed by the 'lengths' i went to just to surprise him with a proposal. So all he could say in his stunned state was...."Are you urm, okay??" TSSSKKKKK!!!!!

Very pain leh. And all we could do was to rush out of the bus and act as cool as we could. Begum wasn't looking too cool tho, cos she was laughing and snorting away...so unlike me. Cool as a cucumber. Leeling said afterwards, " Must you always make an impression wherever you go??" Well, let's just say i like to leave places with a bang. hahahaaaaaaaa...

2006-10-03T20:17:00.000+08:00

Ms Wong screened a show tdae, and she said "it's going to change your lives". Woah, so drama mama rite. So i was thinking maybe a documentary about scientific discovery of life on Mars, or perhaps one revealing staggering evidence about religion.

It was about a Jewish man who courts an Italian woman and finally marries her to have a kid. The courtship lasted for the first half of the show and is DAMN funny..he is sucha sweet man) But then the second half of the show gets very dark, cos the Holocaust begins and they get sent to a concentration camp. The mom gets seperated from husband and child cos of gender, so the man has to protect his boy by hiding him from the Nazi soldiers in the camp. Then cos he didn't want his son to be frightened, he made up a story that the whole thing was a game of hide-and-seek and to win, the son had to stay hidden from the baddies. The man is damn damn damn damn damn damn damn sweet...omgosh...the sacrifices he made...sigh! I dun wanna tell u the ending, cos it will spoil the show.

WA LAO.....and i noe the ending of Grey's Anatomy and the winner of America's Next top model already...TSSSKKK. Thank you, javier...u sure noe how to keep me in suspense. Hmpph.

I shall buy the Holocaust DVD: it's called "Life is Beautiful". You should too!!!

Anw, i don't exactly see how it changes my life leh. A bit anticlimax hurhur. Nvm it's a good show and very touching. I shall bestow a Oscar award upon it (not that i have the authority but who cares), if it doesn't already have one.

I've been to school twice in a row this week! Woohoo! I like school i like school i like school!! *grin*

2006-09-29T20:28:00.000+08:00

Yessssss. My maths study week is coming to an end and i've been a good girl, having stuck to it faithfully. More or less. HEE! Okay, yes i stoned and talked but at least i've caught up, in 4days, on what the school has been trying to teach me in the past 2 months. THANK YOU, ALL STUDY BUDDIES, YOU GUYS HAVE DONE A GREAT JOB!!!

*CREDIT ROLL*

Mon: Rai [westlife forever!! shaneshaneshane]

Tue: (oh..hmm, i went to pass jamie her bio paper. Damn..Shlda studied instead. Time wasted, man.)

Wed: Ling [we must stop picnicking everywhere..libraries included. OUR TURN TO SCORE!!!]

Thur: Vick [Good luck with the beard!! omg that is really funny]

Fri: Begum [i dare you to tell the kids to stop necking!!]

Sat: by myself
Sun: by myself, cos i don't have an excuse to go out..gee.

Very good. Imagine, if i keep this up, i'll be looking at HARVARD or YALE or STANFORD muahahahahaha!!!!

2006-09-29T02:39:00.000+08:00

Everybody needs some "me"-time. You get to be by yourself, to drop all pretences and rule your own world again. Seemingly calm and at peace with the world on the surface, inside however, a silent battle rages and it's a whole different story.

In Catechism, I've been taught to believe that that voice in your head, otherwise known as your conscience, is actually God speaking to you. I really do believe that. Think about it: It clearly defines what's good and bad...nagging at you when you've yet to fulfil a past promise, weighing down on you when you've done wrong, urging you to do the right thing, chiding you when you're tempted to pocket that lustworthy object. It stands for all things moral and steadily guides you onto the right path. Who else but God can be so patient and true.

Then again, you don't have to agree. Yes, that voice sure sounds like your own, so it may very well be you arguing with you. Either way, those internal fights serve one purpose: To come to a decision and seek closure.

Lately, I've not been too noisy, simply because I don't feel like it. I've stayed away from home as much as possible and have not gone to school this entire week, simply because I need "me"-time. So you say i've changed and i'm so quiet. No, i'm just getting in touch with me again, and to do that, i need you to stay out of my space and let me and God be. Our convo went something like this:

Me: Why is everything going so horribly?

Voice: Is it that bad? It's just your grades.

Me: Yes, but whatever i get now is supposedly an indication of how well i'm gonna do in the finals, and that in turn is gonna affect the rest of my life. I'm screwed.

Voice: There's still hope. You just have to work extra hard for the finals. If you really want it, put in the effort. Rmbr, when there's a will, there's a way.

Me: Just kill me now. You think sleeping pills or carbon monoxide poisoning will make me puke? I don't want to have to puke..it's disgusting.

Voice: Carbon monoxide won't make you puke...But you don't have a car. And seriously, your situation is not bad at all. There are others worse off than you, so you shouldn't be complaining. Think abt the poor kids in Africa. They don't even have a chance at education, and they'd give anything for it. You are fortunate, and yet you've been so lazy. It's your fault, and you should have seen it coming! Don't be too disappointed...just keep your head up. I'll be there for you.

The "kids in Africa" ploy always works, man. It's like the trump card of all trump cards. And the "i'll be there for you" works too. At least I know someone's got my back...it's not a good feeling to know that you're going through your troubles alone, or that all the burden is on your shoulders. That's why i love God. He helps me make sense of things...kinda like a reason-machine that churns out all the reasons why i should continue plodding through the muddy, murky swamps of life.

I have a theory. The quieter you are on the outside, the more you're screaming inside. I'm glad i have had time-out. I've come to a decision and i have my closure. I'm a happier person now :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

2006-09-26T19:05:00.000+08:00

SATURDAY AT THE BOT GARDS WAS BLOODY FUN!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! That must have been the most fun i've had since urm...ermmmm...ahhhhh....eons ago. Can u imagine how pathetic my life has been so far?? Maybe it was cos i was sad right before i went out, and the gang made me so happy that it felt like cloud nine. Like nervous system action potential, u noe...due to hyperpolarisation, action potential is harder to reach, but when it crosses threshold potential...happy potential is reached!!!

Anw let me tell u why it was fun. We had a picnic at the bot gards, so me and ling spent like hours on the phone deciding who gets to bring what for the picnic. And we refused to bring potato chips and junk food, cos we wanna be healthy. HOURS. And all we had on the menu was...dengdengdeng...SANDWICHES. Anticlimax rite.

When we got there, we found this big open field where other picnic-ers were and we were bloody hungry. Then xy had to have issues abt which side of field we shld sit on. We were like "Aiyar, the grass always looks greener on the other side..Just SIT, man!"

Oh and the leaves!! Shit the leaves. We were happily eating, then this sudden gust of wind came and blew a carpet of leaves straight at us. WA LAO. It was like a tidal wave of leaves. You cld actually see the wave growing, rising...TSUNAMI NUMBER 2: ATtack of the leaves.

Then we brought a major excess of bread. Can u imagine?? After all our planning??? Haha so we played card games and the forfeit was eating the bread. I got like 7slices. Oh i wanted to puke after that. I'll NEVER eat bread again. Bleargh.

I climbed my first tree that day!!!!! YES I CAN CLIMB TREES, muahahaha. Of course xy is by far the best tree-climber. She just hops around on the branches, seriously. Me and ling were bloody freaked, and we got stuck halfway up this damn steep branch. I thot i was going to die on that tree!! Begum didn't climb, man. For that she shld have eaten more bread.

We took lots of pics. WAit till xy posts them up then i'll steal some from her! YAY!! I'm happier now :)

2006-09-22T20:52:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord,

Help me through my sadness,
And my indifference;
I want to walk out of the bleak dark
Back into Your light.

I know You will help me, Lord.
You, who can forgive me for everything,
Turn a blind eye from my lack of love
And save me from myself.

You are strong, Lord
And i am weak.
I have always been and so,
I'm very glad You're there for me.

Thank you, Lord.
I really do love you, ya know.
And i know you'll always love me too.
Amen.

2006-09-21T19:26:00.000+08:00

I wanna buy a notebook!!!

Anw i tried doing research online to see what's good and what's not. After one hour, i still have no idea what's hot.

2MB Cache, 1.60GHz. 533MHz FSB processor...512MB (1X512) DDR2 SDRAM at 533MHz memory...60GB 5400RPM SATA Hard Drive....Integrated Intel® Graphics Media Accelerator 950™ up to 224MB of shared system memory.
WHAT THE HELL. Just sounds like a smart car to me.

I shall ask my dad to go tech-shopping with me when he gets back from China. Oh and there's the issue of price. Wa sehhhhhhhhh...anyone wants to contribute to MY pocket money fund, by any chance? Im going save at least $10 a day...means im going to be late everyday for school cos im giving up my taxi-taking luxuries.

Sorry uncles, ur going to lose a regular customer. Serves u right anw, cos u always hide in carparks and only pick me up when surcharge hour comes on. I NOE UR TRICKS OKAY.

Anw i still havent found the guts to spill the beans about my grades to my parents yet. I keep my scripts folded between my EXTREMELY THICK bio textbook so mum won't find them. See, bio textbk got use leh. So worth my $60++.

SARAH, GO STUDY!!!

2006-09-20T16:45:00.000+08:00

I'm tired of things that are loud and over the top already. Overpowers me, i think. I don't have the energy to keep up and i don't feel like being pretentious now. Why does the whole world seem to be acting??? Is the world really a stage, and the people merely actors? (ooh im feeling cheem.)

Anw my point is, im lethargic. AGAIN. I need to have some excitement in my life, cos im so bored. I'm afraid that if i keep letting myself get bored, i may end up boring. OMG, and it's not like im the most interesting person in the world now. SOMEBODY, SPICE UP MY LIFE!!!

So, in an attempt to change something in my life, i have made the radical change of...*drum rolls* CHANGING MY BLOGSKIN!!! WOOHOOOOOOO. It's quite pretty lah...MINIMALISTIC, i like :D

Btw the links don't work. And i dun wanna try to fix them cos im LETHARGIC, muahaha. Nvm, later later.

I saw our class photos!!! And im grossed out. HOW CAN SHE?!?!? Ew ew ew, im gg to look back in 30years time at the class pic and see how fake she is!! YUCKS! ACTRESS!! FAKER!!! POSER!!! Sigh. Okay, I shan't be mean.

I flunked my subjects so badly :(:( I got an F for maths, so u get the picture. I'm so stressed!!! I don't wanna study anymore lahhhh...i wish Qin Shi Wang was still alive and ruling, so he'll burn all the books like he did last time, cos he didn't want any smart people to ursurp him. I'll be the first to run out into the streets and give him firestarters.

And i realised im a coward. I don't dare to say!! I shall never say, never ever ever ever, cos i will kena suan and shoot by people. Sigh, nvm i dont wanna say anw, cos im too lethargic to open my mouth, muahaha.

SARAH, go and study NOW.

2006-09-12T15:24:00.000+08:00

Im back from Cambodia!!!!!!! Hahaha, i feel like i'm back in modern civilisation. My phone wasn't working there cos of the diff signals, and i didnt have my internet...can u imagine my isolation? Anw when i cldnt stand it on the 2nd last day, i just went down to the business centre in the hotel and paid their BLOODY EX rates for half an hr on the net. Sheesh.

Anw, the only person online when i went on was RAIZA and she was capitalising all her letters on msn. OMG RAI, i cannot believe u talked to westlife!!! WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U should love ur aunt more for calling them up. How did she even get the number in the first place? Lucky idiot!!!!! Hmph.

Im in the middle of exam week, and it sucks so bad. Actually yest chem paper 3 wasnt so bad. But i cant believe i was late for the paper. Whywhywhywhy oh why am i always late??? I hate bio option topic. It's on reproduction and growth...like hello?? Isn't that supposed to be the most interesting topic in the world cos it's on sex and that kinda shit??? No, let me tell u, BIOLOGY KILLS SEX.

Sean paul rocks btw. Beyonce has lousy songs.

That MORON is making me bloody irritated. Can it stop, please?? I feel so claustrophobic and pressured sometimes...why cant it just NATURALLY get better?? SIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHH, school sucks

2006-08-22T20:49:00.000+08:00

GGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is e frickin use in ponning school if i'm not gonna study at home?? I'm just lazing arnd half the time and prelims is in ONE WEEK. Shit it. I'm totally grateful ah-bao lent me her bio, cos if not i'd have nutthin to study hahah. I still don't get how cum i ponned till i have so many incomplete notes?? Thanks BAOHUI!!! Life saver. I'm dating Leeling out to study on fri cos i really dn think i can study by myself anymore. It's just not working.

Anw the reason why i'm posting this is cos i just saw a G. And i'm going "shitshitshitshitshit! SCREW!!!" after reading it. Oh man, this isn't good and i feel kinda bad abt it cos deep down, i know it's A BIT true. But only a bit lah. I mean, it's not done intentionally or purposely...most of them don't even noe they're doing it. It's more likely bcos we're not let in, so it's hard for it to happen the other way round too. Sigh, it's not suppose to be like this, u noe...i never thot u people felt so strongly abt it. Anw, tho i'll never have e guts to tell u in the face or admit that i've been to the G, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL...NOBODY THINKS THAT WAY!!!!! HONEST!!!!!

And i'm pissed at _____ cos she's so mean. How can u be like that?! TSK. What have i done to u for u to make it so personal?? Like seriously, even other pple can tell lah! I was thinking abt reasons as to way u'd feel that way, and guess what, i've come up with only 2. ONLY TWOOOOOOOOOO and they're totally NOT major, and ur treating me like some...some...i dunno what. Im guessing i'm being bitched abt, and ur the one leading it. WA LAO. FYI, i'm not going to make it a big deal out of it, cos if u feel that way, then go on. But if u play with the others' mind, i'm so gg to be a bitch. I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!!! Hmppph.

2006-08-11T19:41:00.000+08:00

Woah, this has been ages...i wonder what i'm doing back here. Esp since it's like 2 weeks to prelims.

Anws, i have a lot on mind recently so maybe that's why i need a place to rant. I tried to keep a diary, u noe the old-fashion pen-and-paper one, but i keep cancelling out words and it looks bloody messy. Thank goodness for the computer and the backspace button.

I love Craig David's songs btw.

I have new motivation to go to school. I hope it goes away soon tho, cos i don't like it.

I really can't stand that PRISSY BITCH. Sheesh. Can she please act her age??? She's a bloody grown-up and she acts like some deprived teenager. I wish the guys would be less diplomatic and suan her the way she needs to be suan-ed. HAHAHAH AND SHE CANNOT DANCE FOR NUTS!!!!

I have a sudden urge to go on a holiday!! With whom, i don't care. Oh, i don't wanna go with adults tho. Class or Leeling and xy sounds good...I think our class should bond more. The national day thing we had to do was fun while it lasted, i think we rocked that day :)

Why do u tell me confusing things? I don't noe what they mean and i don't noe how to react to them. I'm flattered and i definitely rather noe about them than not, but u make me get excessively happy then overly bummed out.

Did i mention i won a iPod nano?? So funkaaaaay!!! Dunno if it's real or not, i'll let u noe once i collect it woohoo! Wah i rarely win things, i realise.

I've lost the urge to blog alr..haha i'm just trying to pass the time till the dumb download (Craig David's album) is done.

2006-04-14T17:30:00.000+08:00

I am grounded, thanks you very much mum. So let's review the penalties:

1.Curfew of 7pm
2.Immediate return to home upon the ending of school
3.Use of the computer for up to 2hours each week
4.Compulsory completion of school and tuition homework

And if my grades do not improve to an average of Cs by block test2,

5.Confiscation of mobile phone
6.Restricted use of the television
7.Transfer of all household chores to me

HELLO??????? You might as well put me in prison. And now i don't even dare tell her abt my 3 for PW. GAHHHH!!

So nowadays, if i ever want to go out, i have to do it after school and my excuse will be "CCA is damn hiong". Hahaha i'm in SEC for goodness sakes, but then again, she doens't hafta noe :)

So yest, there was supposed to be this class outing dinner, at 630pm. I was so surprised she let me go!! Anw that's not the point. The TOTAL highlight of the day was me, shanie and steph going to shanie's house from 330 to 6 and watching the HOTTEST show ever.

DIRTY DANCING!!!!!!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGM Diego Luna aka Javier is HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT hahahaha! We were all swooning..and the latin dancing...*gasps*. The music was amazing, the dancing was amazing, the actors were amazing, the costumes were amazing, everything was amazing. We're gonna buy the sound track from HMV!! SIGH!

We were singing "represent represent CUBA!!" all the way frm her house to Taka. SIGH!!

Aiyar, i'm so screwed up lah. I shld stop failing so much. I shld just go to Cuba.

2006-04-10T11:31:00.000+08:00

It's 1130 AM, it's a monday, it's not a holiday and guess what? I just woke up, having brekky (or brunch) and using the comp at HOME whahahahaha! And talking to sham on msn! Hahahaha, dumb girl cldnt get up after a night of.......wait for this.......SOCCER on TV. TSKkkkkkkkk.

I'm listening to BSB and reminds me of XY so badly. And the bunch of them always choreographing dances in e class, blasting music. SIghhhh, nostalgia.

Oh and Blue just started singing Best in Me... I rmber Lee being hot. And Duncan too. Reminds me of xinyi AGAIN, with her posters. all over the door ahhahaha. I'm in the mood for love songs with a beat tdae...they're just nice to listen to.

Bob Carlisle's Butterfly Kisses is damndamndamn good. I cried cos it's so sweet last time. I wanna go find the lyrics and post them up...wait.

There's two things I know for sure:

She was sent here from heaven and she'sdaddy's little girl.

As I drop to my knees by her bed at night

She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes

andI thank god for all the joy in my life

Oh, but most of all

For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;

sticking little white flowers all up in her hair;

"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."

"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."

In all that I've done wrong

I know I musthave done something right

to deserve a hug every morning

and butterfly kisses at night...

Sweet 16 today

She's looking like her mama

a little more everyday

One part woman, the other part girl.

To perfume and make-up

from ribbons and curls

Trying her wings out in a great big world.

But I remember

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;

stickinglittle white flowers all up in her hair.

"You know how much I love you, Daddy,

But if you don't mind

I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."

With all that I've done wrong

I must have donesomething right

to deserve her love every morning

and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time

Like the wind, the years go by.

Precious butterfly.

Spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today.

She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.

Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.

She asked me what I'm thinking

and I said

"I'm not sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."

She leaned over and gave me butterfly kisses

with her mama there,

Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair

"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."

"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy?

Daddy, don't cry!"

Oh, with all that I've done wrong

I must havedone something right.

To deserve your love every morning

and butterflykisses-

I couldn't ask God for more,

man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go,

but I'll always remember

every hug in the morning

and butterfly kisses.

How sweet right? I love the song.

Oh and here's atomic kitten..sounds familiar hu are they?? Hmm, u noe bands like Mcfly and Busted...i realised i'd never even noe abt them in so much detail if i weren't sitting next to raiza. SHE IS HIGH ON BRIT BANDS. Omg, she kept buying Hello! and Top of the Pops, and we'd read tgt...I have serious nostalgia man.

2006-04-09T19:38:00.000+08:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		10
Acts of Service:		7
Physical Touch:		7
Receiving Gifts:		3
Words of Affirmation:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Hahaha, so if u love me, spend time with me. I don't need bought gifts, i'd rather u make them for me. Like sand from my fav beach or a bookmark with my name on it...i'll love it all.

2006-04-09T19:23:00.000+08:00

I have dropped econs!!! ARGHHHHHHH, and the topics were just getting interesting!! Aiyah watever, since i've done it, there's no point looking back huh.

I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE I WANT TO BE A GYNAE. (I ALSO WANT TO MEET DMIITRIY).

I have such a noble aspiration. I want to bring life into this world. I want to be the one to comfort the parents-to-bes' anxieties and tell them of the bundle of joy they will hold in their arms in 9months. I want to see them thru their journey of pre-parenthood. I want to receive their anxious phone calls and be there to tell them "it's only normal, ur baby is fine." I want to listen to and share their proud aspirations for their future child. I want that their full trust be placed in me when the time comes. I want to be there at the crucial moment and deliver their child. I want to see the proud smiles on the fathers' faces and see the tears of joy on the mothers'. I want to be the one that places their beautiful creation in their arms. I want to hear their gratitude and cry tears of joy with them. I WANT I WANT I WANT.

Anw. OMG xinyi, what did u say in ur email to dmitriy abt me??! What did he say!!! OMG!! Show me his email!! Let's go watch ice age2 btw!

2006-04-04T18:38:00.000+08:00

I am blue.

Today can be safely ranked amongst my top 30 worst days. Probably my 25th worst day??

I was late for school, got booked. Nvm that's quite routine anyways.

Then due to the STUPID new rule, i had to sit at the foyer till 815am instead of joining the rest of the school in lecture. What is the point in doing that? I didn't get to attend the lect, i don't get to learn(not that i wld, cos lects are lousy) and i certainly didn't feel a single pang of remorse. Okay, whatever.

Then during econs tut, i got told off by Tan cos i didn't bring econs notes. My excuse: I accidentally packed my bag for wednesday instead of tuesday. Sounds a bit dumb, i noe..i felt stupid for saying it. BUT IT'S TRUE!!!! So for that, i had to stand for one period or so. Whatever.

Then he started asking me questions and i tell u in all seriousness, my macroecons really SUCKS BIG TIME. I just started making notes yesterday, so i will improve, but don't bombard me now man!! Since i'm the kind that blanks out when getting yelled at, i cldnt reply. So do the math: Limited answers in a flustered brain + total fatigue= horrid stammering and more scoldings. WHATEVER.

Oh i got an O for my econs i think.

I really am banking on bio. So when i got it back, i was praying so hard i didn't fail AGAIN. Guess what. I did. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. I was so sad, tears just fell in class. Thank God evadne was there and took me to the bathroom. Made me feel better--slightly.

Bloody econs test afterwards, and like i said, i only JUST started studying. So screwed again. Mr Tan will blow his top i think.

It rained so much in school today, so me and samme had to wait FOREVER for the rain to stop. Delayed me for abt 30mins?? Of all days, man.

I am so tired of school. It's stressful in every sense of the word. I HATE HATE HATE school today. Apparantly Ling and Sham are sad too. Ling msged me telling me she was depressed cos her teacher scolding her...isn't that so coincidental??? Moral of the story: TEACHERS ARE SUCH ASSHOLES SOMETIMES. aiyar whatever...i'm apathetic already.

Did i mention my GP sucked too?? Brilliant day huh.

2006-04-03T18:19:00.000+08:00

School is horrid. Actually, it's the studying that's horrid. I can't believe how dumb i am, cos so many pple are getting Better Bs for chem and Admirable As for maths and whatnots. I am getting Fricking Fs. In case ur from Hogwarts and reading this, it means i'm getting T for trolls for my papers.

I AM A USELESS BUM.

I wanna drop a subject. But which one, oh the dilema is killing me...i think chem.Then i think again, econs. Then i think again again, chem. Then i think that i should stop thinking. My doctor dreams are shattered, you know..i mean, like, u drop a glass bottle then use a steamroller on it. I shall be a banker and count people's money instead.

Then i think: My econs suck too.

Leeling msged me todae to tell me she got 51.5 for GP. I like these kinda msges cos it makes me feel thought of. Sorry abt the sucky grade tho. I got F's, if that makes you feel any better.

I need DMITRIY to make me feel better :(:( I'm quite glad that i have a heart-candy that is totally TOTALLY unreachable and outta my league. Cos that means i won't crush on some idiotic guy in the school and suffer the pangs cos he's so near, yet so far.

I am STUNNED to hear that. Whatwhatwhatwhatwhat. You need to change contacts man. Or else go for Lasik. Or maybe brain surgery?? Aiyoh, so unexpected. WAKEUP!!!!

I don't like sticky people.

2006-03-24T23:36:00.000+08:00

I AM THE MOST PISSED OFF PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD TODAY OMG LET ME JUST TYPE IN CAPS COS I REALLY AM TOTALLY TOTALLY ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

OKAY I'M MORE JEALOUS THAN PISSED I REALLY REALLY AM GREEN WITH ENVY. I SHOW YOU DA PICS THEN U'LL NOE WAD I MEAN.

today i went out with my pals and we hung out at bishan talking fer lyk..um..5-10pm..oh that makes 5 hrs. Just talking. I am super jealous. So xinyi got there first and i got there 2nd (surprise surprise im not e latest...), and while we were waiting fer sham, ling and begum, she took out her cam and started showing me pics. OMGOMGOMGOMG I AM SUPER JEALOUS.

*takes a deep breath* okay okay im calm...im cool.

Yar, so anw, apparantly she got this job (cos her classmate in poly recommended her) as a Liasons Officer for this international swim meet. So like each person gets to have a team of swimmers (arnd 4-5 peeps) frm one country and take care of them during their stay.

So she got the country Kazakhstan. At first i was lyk "where the hell is kazakhstan" and i was thinking of sum middle-east country. Turns out the pple speak russian so they're blond-haired and blue-eyed and cos they're swimmers, they are TOTALLY HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT.

WHY DIDNT SHE GET ME THE BLOODY JOB TOO?!?!?!?!?!!

these are the kazakhstan guys. OMGOMGOMG rite?! The one with his arm arnd her ($%#!*&#$*#) is called DIMITRI. Where have u been all my life??? Oh, kazakhstan. TSK.

This is Danil..apparantly they have a thang gg on. He's frm Ubek-smth-stan.

From Phillipines...

From Japan...

Her fellow sports&wellness pple... i shld be in there!!!! GAH!!

Her and Danil, hahaha how sweet...

Another Jap...

From Indo...

LIKE WHAT THE FRIGGIN HELL.

And the girl is bloody jian, do u notice the pics are mostly with guys?!?! She is good she is good. And there were a thousand shots in her digicam of half-naked guys and most of them were aimed at their butts. HAHAHAHAH, i shant show cos it's obscene. It's really funny tho.

I'm cool...im calm...hahahaaa. Anw the main thing is that we had fun tdae, i shall put up the pics we took tdae when she sends them to me. I love you babes.

2006-03-14T19:31:00.000+08:00

OMG!! There's only like 5 days left till BTs!!! And i haven't even finished studying one subject??? Mati lah...

Anw i tried doing this chem paper and i spent 3hrs on MCQs. In the end out of 20 questions, i successfully solved 6. That's a gauge of how well im gonna pass.

My dad's gg away to china AGAIN. SIGHHHHHHHHHHH.

My TV schedule:
mon--desperate hsewives
tues--CSI
wed--American idol and top model
thurs--Law&Order: SVU
Fri--Friday Supper Club movie
Sat--(i'm out the whole day)
sun--The apprentice.

Where got time to study?? Aiyoh. Then i'm on the comp for hours too. Oh and don't forget the phone. So many distractions, even if i'm barred from going out. PANDI KUTI SETHAPOR!!!!! :(:(

2006-03-08T19:39:00.000+08:00

Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh.

Don't say it's a kiddy, corny title. Don't look at the cover and tell me it looks like a crap story. Don't make me slap you. Just rmb that saying..ya noe, the one abt judging and a book and a cover??

It's a fantastic read, i almost cried. It's abt mice and rats btw, but personified of course. There's a "extraordinarily handsome" rat in the book called Justin (my new favourite name for the entire year), and he dies trying to save his fellow rats. Omg, how sad!! I could feel the tears welling up :(

I'm reading every other book but my dumb textbooks, that never ever seem to end their friggin looooooong lecture abt i-dunno-wad.

I have no motivation to come to school...in fact i have DE-motivators. Thank goodness for funny people lyk jamie and samme and jes.

I suddenly don't feel like gg. AIYAH I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING BUT SLACKSLACKSLACK AND GET MARRIED TO A RICH SOMEBODY AND SLACKSLACKSLACK SOMEMORE. Tskified!!

2006-03-02T19:00:00.000+08:00

Today is a happy day woohoo!!!! Omgosh, i really love my fast-thinking brain.

It's so qiao...just recently i was showing ---- (is it ----?? i forgot the nick) the picture of a shuai and really nice senior in e yearbook. Since last year, i was pretty sad that i didn't have his number, even tho i had every reason to ask for it. Buddy-buddy, junior-senior reasons. GAH. Then probably more than 10 times since e start of the year, i've kept thinking abt how nice it wld be to talk to him...the only problem being I DON'T HAVE HIS FRIGGIN NO.

Guess what?? He came back today woohoo!!! I was so stunned! I wanted to go over and chat, but he had this BLOODY F-ing bitch next to him so i didn't wanna...bad situation to get into. Was feeling a bit blue till i saw him at the drinks stall. I totally jumped up and pretended to get a drink, ignoring him all the time, till he walked over and went "eh, u dao me arh?".

Then OF COURSE, i went "OMG!! I didn't see you! How have you been? Btw whats ur number?" *HEEHEEEHEEEHEEE* I was so happy, i wanted to laugh.

I didnt get it tho. He's going overseas so he said it wld be no use to me. DAMN THE SHIT THINGS IN LIFE. I shlda asked for email add. ---- happened to see and was like "i saw that. You despo arh u." Yah, i am...quite.

Kim is out of top model :(:(

Tdae was a happy day anw, so hu cares abt Kim.*BEAMS REALLY BRIGHTLY*

2006-03-01T20:07:00.000+08:00

I got a B4 for chinese. Let's just leave it at that.

I'm gonna come late every wednesday. I mean, i noe im late for school almost everyday, but on wednesday i'll arrive at like 11 or smth. It's perfect. I get a to have a lie-in AND not get caught. muahahahahahah :D

It wont work out...im totally sure. He's too serious, and there's always a pressure. Poor, poor girl.

Gelaré every tuesday!!! :):)

I keep looking and looking, but i never find it. SOBS!!

Anw, my dad's coming back soon, FINALLY. *beams*

2006-02-26T14:25:00.000+08:00

I'm hooked onto online auctions. Really addicted...Oh nonono, that's shit cos BTs are so near. It's not just to buying, it's the selling too. Gosh think of the money i could make if i quit school and started doing this full-time.

SIGHHHHHHHHHHH.

I feel like im gonna get a "brother-in-law" soon. Just a feeling, and oh well, i'm cool with it. I think.

Guys have an easier life. I want to be a guy :(:(:( Minus the NS.

I like this song: One last cry by BrIAn Mcknight. Kevin from American Idol sang it soooooo beautifully. Anw it's brIAn mcknight, but i kept typing brAIn mcknight when i googled it. No wonder i could never find any links to d/l it.

Did i mention i wanna be a guy?????? SIGHHHHHHH.

2006-02-24T23:06:00.000+08:00

I am so annoyed!!!!! There is sumthin wrong with my brain!! I saw people celebrating his birthday, and i felt so shitty. I am a USELESS PATHETIC SOD. Gah!!! I am the soppiest person alive.

Let me elaborate: Yest, we got to the cafe and plonked our bags down at a table and went off to buy food. Note--WE SAT AT THE TABLE FIRST. Then Jes got her nasi lemak really fast so she went back to the table and waited for Samme and me to get back. When we did, I kinda froze cos i saw GT sitting at the next/adjacent/really nearby table and TOTALLY REFUSED to sit there. I shlda known he wld be there cos that's like his group's usual place. WHYWHYWHY was i embarrassed..and WHAT abt?! The next day i saw a buncha pple celebrating his bdae and i kept looking over. STUPID ME. What FOR??!! Then he happened to walk past and i made eye-contact for abt 2seconds. OMG, i wanted to die on the spot. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...i am trying to not admit it but, i think MAYBE i still kinda have a TEENSY-WEENSY ULTRA-MINI thing fer him.

Dont you think i'm very faithful?? Since last year, u noe.

And the SHIT thing is, i really hate myself for making the situation turn out the way it is now. Somehow i just clam up if i like someone...even Samme said i totally shut up when he was arnd me. I can't help it ____________________________________________________________________________________
Anw that shldnt be the main thing here..i just mulled over it cos me and her happened to talk abt it over tau huee (how to spell) the other time.

OKAY, tdae was first class outing day and that's a BIG deal kays. Considering this is our 2nd year tgt, aiyoh. How slow. But nvm, we're getting there. We were supp to watch this "scary" film (final destination3) but it turns out that it's just GORY. Not scary, just gross. Blood and brains and guts on the floor kinda shit. I was sitting btwn weishan and javier, good, cos i thot i cld cuddle up to shanie when i got scared and javier wld prb give me a safe feeling (since guys are supp to be immune to horror.) Then shanie cldnt take it and left (ARGHH!), oh man oh man. So me and jav just kept gg "oh freak! ouchouchouch" and leaning against each other when it got gruesome. He's SUPPOSED to be BRAVE!!!! (kiddingkidding) And i spilt his entire upsized n almost un-drunk sprite, so sorry :(
THen since FD3 wasnt scary enuf, some of us went back to watch "the fog". IT IS NOT SCARY. DONT GO ON FRIDAY/SAT/SUN to watch either movie cos ur wasting $8 on a stupid show. Seriously. So we spent $16 and didn't get value for money, man! TSKified.
The girls found a new way to take neoprints without paying. Use ur handphone and point it at the camera while u pose...so smart right!!! Here's some i took from andrea, so funny!

2006-02-20T17:28:00.000+08:00

I am so happy with my tution teachers at the moment, really i am. No matter how much Jamie says i complain abt them...i actually think they're a BIG help. Anw i dn really complain that much wad, hmph. Now i'm left with a hawaiian surfer dude-lookalike and a nice, totally sweet teacher. I'm glad wai and i fired the old geezer. Come to think abt it, i shld just quit school and be home-schooled...prob end up doing better.

Why am i always late for school? whywhywhywhywhy. I shld just go makan at the hawker centre since i'm not going to make it in time anw.

I feel like sucha mean bean. I shlda just been a good samaritan and given it up. That's what happens when u try to act nice, sarah. aiyaraiyar, i'm on a guilt trip now, i'll return by tmr.

I dn CARE abt that..that...that (how to say)..that BAI CHI anymore. I shall heck care and be on my lovely way. Such a hindrance sometimes. Oh sorry, let me rephrase...ALL THE TIME.

I completed 2.4km (or is it a million km) today!! woohoo!! Okay altho it's not very fast, i still got 15:39..not bad rite?? Considering i haven't been doing PE in ages.

I have so much homework and what am i doing?? Online shit. TSK.

Oh nonono, i still feel like a mean mean bean.

2006-02-14T20:54:00.000+08:00

i watched her tdae and i wanted to kill her. ohmygoodness, if there is one person who can turn me into a friggin murderer, it's so gonna be her. and guess what? noone will ever guess, cos it'll sound so unexpected. i don't wanna talk to her anymore..ANYMORE. Stupid stupid fucking facade.

anw after school tdae, i went to one of the CASB's house to chill. After the renovation, the place is DAMN HIGH TECH. U gotta use fingerprint sensors to get in the front door, switch on the lights yada yada...and to think i almost set off the alarm just by leaning on the door. Haha it's funny. Anw, your cooking rocks!! Cream of green pea is so yum!!! Thank God for you, darling.

I got a bit pissed off today in school, cos of that BLOODY GIRL. i totally gotta get it off my mind now...she is really driving me insane. It wasn't always like that. GAHHHHHHH!!!! anw i kinda feel bad cos im not saying her name...i admit, i am a coward. So sue me. Okayokay so it's not totally her fault, but i was seriously hurt today..omg what am i rambling on abt??? Oh heck it, i dn wanna bother alr. It's not hu you think it is, btw.

I love Jamie for saying she'd share her balloon, i really do :):)

I love Lin for her green pea soup :):)

I love Jude Law for his complete suaveness :):)

I love the pretty roses :):)

Happy valentine's everybody!

2006-02-10T20:31:00.000+08:00

heyhey, gues who's back????? *singsong tone* Actually i'm just gg to continue blogging, but like once in a blue moon. cos this yr is friggin serious. A LEVELS, BABEH.

what's gg thru my mind now:

mr tan says "there's zero advantage is taking 4 subs". Oh shit, that is kinda true...but my dad says NO.

Why am i flunking so much??? Makes me pissed and leaves me TOTALLY demoralised.

Should i keep my hair long???

WHat am i gg to do when i go to uni? (i'm having a mid-life crisis at the quater-age of my life)

Im freaked out by her!!! Oh no oh no. She had sucha confused-annoyed stare...aiyar, maybe im paranoid. Shall keep my distance.

Have you seen My Flat in London?? I think it's pretty. Look at this one:

It's called Ballet Monkey :):):)

Why are friggin v-day present so friggin HARD to friggin find? Anw, i got an inspiration from a bustop billboard tdae, but i'm not sure if it'll be too flimsy. HECK, i shant care. I mean, it's the thought that counts right??? GAH.

Okay, bye for like another blue moon then :)

2005-12-08T00:46:00.000+08:00

What "water under the bridge"??? Why did everything vanish so suddenly?? I mean, aren't i part of the picture. Aiyoh, why don't my parents tell me anything. TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSKKK!!! I have to be sneaky and read emails and letters when they're not arnd, then when i learn the truth.......ARGHHHHHHHH. WTF man, seriously.

Anw, i won't be in the usual home for 2 weeks.

I have no friggin idea what to get anyone for xmas. SIGH!! I've got a what's-an-appropriate-and-practical-gift-that-doesn't-cost-a-million-bucks problem.

I got my first pay check. woohooo!!

I ABHOR, DETEST, HATE CHEMISTRY TO THE MAX!!!!!!! So effing maxima abt it, and it's like tuition isn't helping much, cos i am THAT behind in my organic chem. Curse the damned subject: what do i care if arenes undergo electrophilic (or is it nucleophilic) substitution bcos it's electrons are dispersed into the ring structure and hence making it more stable???? WHAT THE F LAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *maxima-ed*

I asked my mum if i could quit school. I'll prob get a slap from dad. F it.

Sleep over on 22nd!!!

2005-11-29T23:29:00.000+08:00

Woah, gala night was damn stress man. Omg i've never handled such a crowd and my 4 supervisors were all going, "Prepare to sweat, good luck!!" WTF. And it's on-going for another night. Nvm..it's training for xmas. SO STRESS!!!!!

Tmr is HARRY POTTER day with RAI!!!! Yay!! S.e.r.i.o.u.s.l.y cannot wait. WHEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wrote this poem the other day, cos i had a sudden flash of inspiration (or maybe it was cos i was forced to do maths hw and had to pretend to write smth.) Anw, it turned out DAMN MUSHY. Oh God, it was so unbelievably SOFT. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Cldnt believe it. Still can't. *sighs* It's been how long? YEARS?? crapcrapcrapcrapcrap. GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had first bitching session abt colleagues tdae, but only abt one person haha. As if that's not bad enuf man hurhur. I quite love most of them, it' damn funny how they're looking out for ECs within the store. But they all suck lar, seriously. I thot one of my supervisors isnt bad, but he's married and with kids, and if i say he's handsome...OMG, i will be the laughing stock of the entire department. He's just suave and very very smooth. Nvm, i'll just shut up and keep it to myself hurhur.

Qizhu is damn funny. She went to get a free makeup session with the L'Oreal counter and she turned out like a GETAI singer WAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

2005-11-25T13:46:00.000+08:00

Aiyoh, the stuuuuuupid group blog address got changed AGAIN, and i can't rmbr what the user id and password are. Heck, i can't even rmbr the URL. Godded.

I'm quite addicted to KBox i think, cos it's really worth the money. 6.50 for 3hrs is not a bad deal, and for so much fun too. Guess what, i'm gg on monday whee!!

Daddy came back from China yest, phew. But then i won't be able to see him for a damn long time cos i have to WORK. TSK. Nvm, i 'll call him.

My maths tutor is damn weird can. Boasts so much abt how ALL his students get As, how his driving skills are the BEST, how his method of teaching his kid is so much BETTER (hello?? put a hot towel on his face?? how does that help.) yadayadayada...and he's like laffing at all his own jokes. Oh well, the price to pay for a good tutor. OH HAHAHAHAHA and he can't pronouce words that start with "sh"!!!

"I sow you how to do this question arh..." or " Put yourself in my soos..." WAHAHAHAH!! Can you imagine if he wants to tell you to shut up?! "SSSSSSSSSS! Sut up lah!" AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! omg, im so mean. But he is a good tutor lar.

Oh and my chem tutor has this really cramped apartment with 3 rather dirty looking malteses. There's a really strong air freshener smell, so i'm just wondering what smell he was originally trying to mask. Then he has this air purifier-- which is a good thing to have-- but the water in it is grey and murky. I spent half the lesson wondering why. EURGH.

DAMN ALL PAPER CUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-11-22T21:29:00.000+08:00

Woah, already 2 weeks. My body has gone into muscle-memory mode, so i'm pretty automatic now. Lips stretch into a smile...mouth goes "Hi ma'am/sir, how may I help you"...head nods politely...eyes open wide in appreciation of the good..mouth goes "Wow! That looks really pretty! Are yo shopping for Christmas?"...Smilesmilesmile...hands gets into gear...mouth does "Thank you! See you again!".

Tadaa. That's a day at work.

Tired, and all my days are fully booked. I cldnt even go ice-skating tdae with the class. I've started on maths and chem tuition GAH. Wednesday gg to watch HARRY POTTER with Rai cos she has free tix!! I LOVE YOU, R. Then thurs gg KBOX with wai yayayayayyay!!

I'm so sick of LWS.

2005-11-16T00:21:00.000+08:00

what's going on?? i'm so confused now.

it's too much of a coincidence, yet it's not all correct, so is it or is it not?

it may explain some things, but it also doesn't for some.

i really dun get it. i really really really don't.

2005-11-14T23:10:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA, today was a jolly-good day..i'm pretty happy with everything.

Work was pretty fun. SERIOUS. My co-workers are really quite nice, and it's getting rather HOOTY at the counter. It's not the x-mas season yet so the flow is rather slow...i'm really starting to appreciate those early shoppers for their foresight. Can you imagine the mad rush when Christmas gets closer. Gee.

So far, i've seen only Shir and she stopped to chat..no one else. HENG. I saw Qizhu todae...whee!!!!! She's getting prettier, dunno why. And when i was leaving and stopped by her counter to say bye, she was all stressed out. Apparantly she'd lost some $95 voucher...HOPE SHE FINDS IT MAN. I'll treat her to Haagen Daz(s?) during her break tmr...make her feel better.

Shanie came too! *waves* You shld really go for that tutoring thingy. PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU.

LWS is really a big fat waste.

Am so PISSED with that watsissname. Omg, can he please NEVER AGAIN put his hand where it shldn't be????? TSK, seriously. If i weren't any nicer, he'd have died by now.

Shld i skip baddy course for work? Or saturdays with daddy? Outings with CASB? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Bloody dilemna.

2005-11-12T21:37:00.000+08:00

Omgoodness..................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................

-___-"'

2 inch court shoes for 4hrs. No drink. Constant risk of paper cuts. Picky PICKY customers. DAMN FIERCE manager. Xmas season in another, say, 2 weeks.

OMGOODNESS.............................................................................

2005-11-08T19:54:00.000+08:00

Sheesh, why is it so complicated?! Robin is SOOOOOOO annoying, all the dates are TOTALLY clashing. Then i'll feel bad if i back out cos they've been set alr and i think that Elaine person will kill me. GEE. For such a measly price too.

Why am i spending so much this month? First there was the hp (which i don't regret) then there's LWS(which im kinda regretting) and then now there's baddy (which i prob wont regret). I need cash to make me feel less regretful!

Tuition..must start tuition.I hear the choir is really really not working out. *HAHAHAHAHAH*

I hear that they're a couple now. Urm..okaaaay..i don't know how to react to it anymore. Just plain not affected.

I wish the lizard wld go away.

2005-10-31T14:58:00.000+08:00

YAY!!! Happy bdae to moi, happy bdae to moi... Thanks everybadeh, it's been grrr-eat!!! yes, that's right the number is 17.

I'm at my dad's now, will go for a bdae lunch. Then will have a bdae dinner with mummy. Wah, fatness.

Current read is The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, damn captivating. I was a bit hesistant to open the book cos of all the bad publicity abt it. But i convinced myself to read it like I read Harry Potter and not let it move what little faith i currently have. Yepp, anw i'm halfway thru the book and i'm totally engrossed. So much so that i was reading it one day b4 my chinese AOs and thinking abt it DURING the friggin paper. Hope i get at least a B man!!!

I love my new phone.

Indian outing, swim with suilo (yay!), beach with CASB...lalalalala it's a good life. AND we're gonna have the pleasure of dumping that spastic money-faced ah-peh with sucha big ego (he's my tutor) and change!!! Woohoo, stupid guy, i laugh in ur face (behind ur back lar..i dun have so much guts.)

2005-10-28T18:43:00.000+08:00

OMG I AM SO TOUCHED. I MUST BE THE MOST TOUCHED PERSON IN THE WORLD AT THIS MOMENT. I PROBABLY CANNOT BE MORE TOUCHED TODAY THAN THIS.

Thank you, IP WAISZE and GELINE LIM, you are the 2 of the GREATEST people in the whole wide world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, i got such a shock when gel came in and put the box she was carrying in front of me, saying "Happy Birthday". GOSH! *stunned* And what a yummy cake, it really was delicious. You guys really rock, THANKS A MILLION!!!!

Then we went to PS and started looking arnd. So while gel was looking for some wedding gift, me and wai were secretly trying to think of a belated bdae prezzie for her. Damn funny, we had to be really discreet and it was so stupid!!! We even went to the extent of passing msgs on handphones under the gaps in the toilet cubicle lar!! Bought her a Forever Friends cup in the end, very cute. She better use it. Oh gosh, she's going back to NZ on the 2nd of november, SOBS!!! Must go club tgt when you next return haha!!!

Damn. Qizhu really is leaving to go poly. SOBS!! I really wanted to cry today cos it was so sad. Sigh, another friend gone..she better come for class outings. Will miss her so bad.

I.T.E (no, not the school) outing on Nov 2!!! We can go serangoon and buy saris!! CAn't wait...KboX!!! We are so mad.

2005-10-24T01:39:00.000+08:00

NICE?!?!?!

Just say it lar, don't be jealous :):)

Anw realised that all my blogskins are BLACK. It's just that all the nice ones are black...i'm not particularly into the colour.

Why are there so many new webbies to join?? So pissed alr. First there was friendster, then there's Zebo and an Alpha dunno wad. Now there's an iAlmond?! WTF. And why must all new things start with an "i"?? Big fat COPYCATS of the iPod only, hmph. For that, i refuse to join.

i can't believe i have AO levels to do. come on, i thot it was over? ARGH, friggin annoying.

Watched a damn funny show on sat, "The Man" HAHAHAHA was so vulgar!! can't believe my dad let me watch it. Dog is having her period. Again. Gee.

Mummy really bought me a new phone!!! LOVE HER TO HER CORE. And she gets to upgrade her's in abt a month, so we'll all have new phones ;):)

2005-10-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

aiyar so wanna change the blogskin now. got nuttin to hide anymore. let's bitch freely:

1) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAIN?? wait, do u even have one? i mean, can't u see that it's not going to work arghhhh...pple are alr so against u and u wanna add on to it. Oh brilliant plan!! I tell you in all seriousness-- being sticky won't work and ur an idiot.

2) wake up wake up!! nonono don't go out with that hag, please..u deserve better.

3) wake up wake up!! nonono don't go out with that jerk, please..u deserve better. oh n happy bdae :)

4) pardon? did i just hear that ur getting EXPELLED? oh that's fantastic news!! i just found out that noone likes you either but ur skin's too thick to realise it. Shoo. can't believe u waste ur life like that. Don't you even think abt your parents and how much they want you to succeed?

5) HAHAHAHAHA bet u got the shock of ur life when my mum (i love you, mummy) called you up heh? You money-minded freak, see la, bug me till i can't be bothered to defend/help you anymore. Oh well, good riddance!!

Okay that's all for my bitch-a-minute session for the day. Anw today was Kbox day, haha my 1st ever. Okay lar not too used to singing into a mike, so ended up not singing too much. NEXT TIME I WILL HOG THE MIKE. Wah that guy (forgot the name) was shiok siaxxx...sings robbie williams and taufik like no other. *takes my hat off* Came out of the place smelling of smoke..ewww.

I'm feeling a bit bummed abt getting a rather low grade..to me i mean. I expect more than that. I don't wanna complain in school cos i know there are pple who fared worse than me, so i probably dun haf a right to say much in their face. ARGH, but my dad is really gg to hack me into tiny pieces. Why doesn't he know i'm beating myself up inside already??

i love my mum!!! she's getting me a new phone...i love you to the core!! I mean, with or without the phone, i'd still love you to the core but you've just really made my day. I L.O.V.E U!!

Tired now. Pia-ed PW the entire week till 8+ at Steph's. i will go off now. Anw i hope he'll open up his eyes and see that she'll make a better choice for him, i seriously think she's so much nicer. I'd hang out with her anyday.

2005-10-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

Beach is good. Beach is fun. P----- is not.

Must go again when it's not anywhere near so can fully enjoy. Bloody hot out there and the water looked so good..guess what, the friggin idiots just totally swam out and pang-sehed me on the sand!! WTH!! Then we forgot to bring so much stuff...no radio, no mat, no CAMERA. pandified!!

Begum was totally trying to hide from the sun under a FACE TOWEL (huh??) and i think me and xy were the only 2 who got SLIGHTLY burnt. Am a bit red now goodgood. Have a headache now shitshit.

Didnt turn up for Open House (sorry) and damn it, didnt get a shoe bag! ARGH!! hopefully next year?? tsk.

Am reading Harry Potter books one after another and i'm halfway thru the latest one. And then the movie's gonna come out, see i plan it so well :):) Xy will get us tix for it? Haha dun push it huh.

YAY!! so all's well and we're good. Great great great! and yay i'm gg to get promoted whee!! Can't believe school year is ending alr, seems so fast...

2005-10-11T18:46:00.000+08:00

ARGGGHHHH!! Fuck el cheapo!! Must he be so petty abt $6.50?! Can't he wait till next week to get it?????????? Never have i seen such a petty, short, mumbling cheapskate ah-peh lookalike in my entire 16.5 years of life. You know i had to go all the way to his house today, just to put a 5-buck note and 2 coins in an envelope into his mailbox...HULLOooO?! I was fuming on the bus, man.

School was quite funny today. It was pretty cool with a band playing latino music. Seriously funkay! And the congo player looked so charming :):) Haha, when he made the audience clap, i clapped the longest for him!! How sweet of me.

Gosh then the music awards. i want to laugh now. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA!! But i applaud them for their courage and (for some) their talent...wah the Wu Ding girl was sooo good. I think better than that Genie or wadever her name is. FA---> pukes. I think the worst was DICK..looked deranged. Prob thinks he was damn cool. and i saw this group of guys jeering:):)

First class outing: watched The Myth..nice!!! i almost cried when all the soldiers wanted to follow the general into battle, risking life to fight for their general. Wahhh..the loyalty moved me!! ans when the horse was struggling to fight for its rider..ahhhhh how faithful!! Aiyar dun say le, u go watch urself hurhur.

2005-10-09T01:55:00.000+08:00

i'm sooooooooooooooo tired.

was tired when i woke up and REALLY wanted to not play today, but i missed the game and friends. got forced outta bed at 1030 cos ling called and i sorta wanted to murder for waking me up lar...just to discuss where to have the gang-dinner. WTH!! anything lar!!!! haha, anw i miss seeing all of you. NOONE else can talk sick like we do.

then met at TCC to play bad...HAHA this is so stupid, i think we just pissed off the entire place lar! wah, and thank God i didnt see FA there..i would have died on the spot. And thanks to all the 'coaches'!! GCB plays DAMN well (so malu) and i shot a 3-pointer!!! *proud:)* oh let's just mention dat muthusamy scored like 5 times MORE. and mustafa and rebecca did 15 times. THANKS.

guess what. spend the entire day there and i'm SOOOOO tired. worse than ever, aiyar dunno wad's up with that. need to sleep it off!

oh shucks i just saw the grossest photo in the world, yuckyuckyuck. *pukes a million times* YES it's a pic of FA. stupid friendster. oh and gosh, jihong's sister is so chio! hahaa i'm oogling like mad at her.

i wanna zao alr, eyes can't take it no more.

2005-10-07T19:13:00.000+08:00

YAY!!!

exams are OVER!! survived yet again haha..now i can't wait to spent my life going out :):):) Baddy and beach!!! ohhhhhhh sweet freedom..

Anyway, seems like i'm the first outta the 5 CASB to have finished exams so must wait PATIENTLY for them to be done before hitting East Coast. i'll wait, i'll wait, i've got time muahaha. Anw, the group blog is cool and i love it!! Wonder if the 6th person will join us tho...i HOPE SO!!

Sigh. I wonder if complete avoidance is possible.

2005-09-30T20:45:00.000+08:00

I died inside.

But i'll live again. It's cool.

I mean, why hurt when there's so much more to live for? Bye, you fool.

2005-09-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy why why whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywyh whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhy why whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywyhwhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy why whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy whywhywhywhy whywhywhywhywhywyh?
STUPID, you're not supposed to do it back!!! Unfair son-of-a-bitch, go learn to eat the shit you're made of!!

Okay i'm going to study now..haha yeah rite. AT least today steph and wai told me they din do that much during the hols too...so i dun feel like i'm the only idiot hu wasted precious time. ARGH, did i mention i want straight As?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, wad a joke siaxxxzz.

And tutor is such a cheapskate!! Oh godded, he is the the cheapo of cheapos...he is EL CHEAPO. Eurgh..can't stand it..and thanks for all 155 pages of RJ tutorials...obviously i will finish it in no time. Yuppxxz!!

2005-08-25T19:12:00.000+08:00

I can really feel the mug-vibe in the air now. Hangout during breaks: Reading Room. Why? Because it's a place to study. I seriously dunno why all my friends dun wanna go balcony and study...I LIKE IT THERE, ya know! It's breezy, has fresh un-canned air, no stupid partitions on the tables, nice roll-around chairs that facilitate movement, a great view and best of all...it's LESS noisy than the reading room. serious lar.

And it reminds me of slacky, free, beautiful first 3months..where me and samme hung-out when we ponned PE. where we established our friendship. where we overlooked the large green field while watching our classmates play. where i secretly admired. I really miss all that. And rmbr our bench that we named "nothing"? If you do samme, please point it out to me one day cos i haf no idea which one it is.

So coincidental. I'm listening to Simple Plan's Untitled (haha no R, i'm not purposely replaying it. My RealOne shuffled so i'm listening to it by chance.) and you know how sad the song is rite? I'm feeling so nostalgic and sad now...check this out, it's so apt.

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And i can't erase the things that i've done.
No i can't.

How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes,
Got no where to run.
The night goes on,
as i'm fading away.
I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me..."

*Sighs* how true. Is that why u cried too, R? *sighs*. It's getting better for me now. I've making up for my mistakes...today was good. Rmbr i had a goal? The one where ONE PARTICULAR someone would take the initiative to wave/say hi to me. It sorta happened today, and I'm really glad. Does that mean i'm forgiven for my stupid mistake? Please, let's be friends.

I haven't seen too many funny things this year.. I mean the occasional person falling down (i noe i noe, i'm a sadist), the rare good joke, the seldom amusing actions... i think the funniest is Jamie falling down. (oh man! i just burst out laffing). Then today, the bus-stop thing was super funny too, samme u made me look like a retard on the bus cos i kept laffing to myself. I couldn't believe how fast he found u WHAHAHA.

Yay, daddy's back safe and sound. Thank you, Lord. Will end here, i dun wanna blog anymore.

2005-08-23T15:49:00.000+08:00

Haiyar, ogay lar, am civilised now hurhur. How to not be when i've slept so much today? seriously, from 12am-11pm and then had brekky before konking out again for an hour..that is a long long time, man. Anyway, if you still dun get my point, it means that i ponned. Hurhur.

Just got a msg from samme saying she saw feather 3 times today, heh, not bad eh. I bring her such luck. You can start call me Lady Luck. Or if it's to formal, Miss Luck will do too. I, on the other hand, wish to never ever see GT again in my whole entire lucky life. Ah, the pleasure of saying it and meaning it FEELS DAMN GOOD.

Yupp, so samme can have her chicken feather, jam can have her big smile, ling can have shorty daniel, wanli can have ben goh, mugeb can have her duck, wai can have her fairness, sj can have her paleness, athena can have her B.O.B (haha that name is really lame), aiyar..everyone can have their everyone. BUT as for me, i can just have my life with just my pals. I'm happy *grinzzzz*

Ogay, so here's my newly updated wish-list:
- Get straight As
- Have tons of money to go shopping
- Get the work shadowing thing
- Grow taller
- Change hairstyle
- Grow fatter
- Have drug addict get kicked out of the school
- Get daddy to QUIT THE FRICK smoking
- iPOD
- Have 2 S.O.Bs or (in this case D.O.Bs) flunking their As and getting mauled by a rabid animal
- Get into baddy cca!! yay!
- C**** being disbanded

That's all i can think of now, but yeah haha. Hope some of them come true soon =)

2005-08-20T18:27:00.000+08:00

WOW!!!! TODAY WAS SO FRIGGIN FUN!!! Minton with wai for an hour(who is damn good at her smashes--IDIOT.) and then we played doubles with these 2 other indon girls in the nx hour. We won, naturally haha, cos wai is damn power sia! I so must learn to counter her damned smashes. i love minton. The aches aren't too bad at the moment..prolly will get worse in a while, taking into account my fitness level. I actually sprained a toe...how da HELL do u sprain a toe??? YES MUST PLAY AGAIN AND SIGN UP FOR TANGLIN CC MEMBERSHIP, YES WE MUST MUST MUST. i love tangling cc, heh. (shaddup to those who are sniggering for nonsensical reasons). Do you have any idea how ex it is to play for an hr on weekends?? Thrice the price for weekdays without a membership!! Grr. Nvm, for the sake of baddy... anyway we sorta zhan their pianyi today cos we played for 2 hours when no one chased us out. HAHAHAH, the yellow shirt girl damn funny!!

DAMNED ****, i dun wanna go!! ARGH!! Please sms me tonite to say it;s not necessary..i really need to pia now.

Yes! Good going PW groupmates! Special mention to Steph hu is an EXCELLENT leader. I can't believe we're the only group that handed up the file ON TIME. Great accomplishment, guys! ALL THE WAY! Love my pw group *gringrin* Oh and yeah, steph n weishan, BoA rocks too :) Friggin chiobu, some pple just get all da luck.

2005-08-13T17:38:00.000+08:00

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Here's what a student wrote:

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than that at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will rise until all Hell breaks loose.2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given by Teresa during my freshman year that 'it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you', and take into account that I slept with her last night, then No 2 must be true, and I am sure Hell is exothermic and has frozen over.

It follows that it is thus, extinct... leaving only Heaven and proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, 'Oh my God.'

This student received the only A.

2005-08-13T17:16:00.000+08:00

SOBS!! I feel like sucha bum. Tuition with Wanli is damn stressful lar..she is so smart, so fast, so hardworking, so UNLIKE ME. Cant keep up manzzzzzz! Piang eh, my dream of straight As is going down da friggin drain. For the record, i got CDEF for cts so can you imagine how much work i gotta do?! Frick, and i'm still blogging. And chatting. And going out. And thinking of fun things to do. Frick. Why are all my posts abt school?? Makes me look like I have no life.

Daddy went to China again. I am damn scared cos of bombings everywhere, thank God china is not really a target on terrorists' maps. I am really scared...can he just stop travelling?! Sigh. God please protect my dad. And help my mum too. Thanks, to the power of infinity!

I am broke. Why am i always broke. I spend a little everyday, so how does it accumulate so fast?! Frick.

I wanna play badminton, so let's go organise wai & athena! Yay, let's save it for a non-mugging day. Oh btw, this is an announcement to all students: If you wanna sell off your old uniforms that are in good condition, please tell me cos I know of a buyer...yeah helping u guys earn some bucks.

Yupp, anyway i don't think my tuition teacher is shuai anymore..haha. Smart, rich, nice...but doesn't make me feel like smiling when I see him. Oh well, life's like that.

2005-08-10T13:12:00.000+08:00

I AM PATRIOTIC, YES I AM.

Spent the entire yesterday doing nuttin but cheering for Singapore under the sweltering sun from 1pm-8+pm. YAY!! GO SINGAPORE!!! The last time I was at the parade (@Indoor Stadium), I really felt the atmosphere- all of us Singaporeans just joining in the celebrations with one accord- how tight we were. That was like a million years ago, i think. Okay la, 6yrs ago. The POINT is, yest we were at MARINA SOUTH (a much smaller place) and not at the main parade ground(@padang). So naturally, the celebrations there weren't as grand as it was at the Padang. DAMN. That also means: I DIDN'T GET TO SEE TAUFIK(hot) & RUI EN(chio) LIVE. SOBS!!! They looked so perfect tgt, I hope the next thing I'll be reading in the papers is about how they're planning to get married..their kids are gg to be SOOOO CUTE.

Okay. Then got this ""FUN"pack. Don't see what's so FUN abt it, but thanks anyway lar. It's the thought that counts. Made new friends there (fergot the names tho) and then saw the BEE-OO-TIFUL fireworks diplay. OH MAN!! That was the highlight of everything. I LURVE fireworks.Then I had to join the mad rush to get outta the place and me & Fengz got lost. (can u belive it? Lost in SIngapore??) Anyway so we stopped to ask this army guy, and he looked us up and down a few 100times before telling us FIERCELY where to go. IDIOT. But thanks.Then we saw the signboard syaing: MRT 15mins, so we were initially gg to walk to it. HENG another NICER army guy asked us if we needed help and I asked how long it wld take to the MRT. He was like wellll...prob arnd 1/2 an hour. WHAT??!?!, Duh we took the bus tho it was so crammed. Then we cackled at all the people hu chose to walk bcos, unlik us, we had the insider's info abt how long it wld REALLY take. SUCKERS muahaha.

I am gg to MUG now. I MUST I MUST. It's freaking me out how the others in class are really studying now. ARGH. I want to get straight As damn it.

HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!!! *waves the pathetic plastic flag from the "fun"pack*

2005-07-28T21:36:00.000+08:00

Pardon the very looooooooooonng pause in the flow of posts...didn't haf the mood lar. And anyway, there was this "unforeseen cirumstance" which prevented me from blogging. Will not comment too much abt dat.

Ogay, how long ago was my last post? Dunno, dun care. Wadeva that time span was, i can tell you loads of bloody shit happened. Some good, some bad...ah u can't always win. Shall start with da bad, so i can end with da good.

Okay some ******* up shit came my way (shall attempt to control vulgarity level cos i'm civilised) and I don't want to talk abt it cos i'm so bleedin pissed off. Fine, cut to chase. You can throw an insult in my face, but wait, don't laff, cos i'm just gonna throw it back ten times harder. I'LL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH. Anyway, wad's so hot abt u that i have to keep putting up a happy front?? That insult overpowers any dreams aka illusions i had for you. Get lost, S.O.Bs.

Yay, that's over n done with! So to point, RAPTURE rocked!!! Loved it, the dancers are hot (eheh Jam, nice going up there) and wah piang eh, did you see the breakdancers?? Woah. Saw ex-school pals..love them much much!! Then there's tuition, OMG, it's damn funny. Can u believe i talked to him 2 days in a row for 1hr?? Haha, but dun get me wrong, it ain't abt me. It's abt another girl frm tuition and he has a thing for her, WAHAHAHA and get this: He's CONFIDING in me!! Wad the shit, ahahah. So i'm supposed to be his spy and ask that girl wad she thinks of him..hiaz......COMPLICATED. but extremely fun ;)

Note to self: Promos cumin up!! STUDY. Am keeping myself away from the new game that's gg arnd: maplestory or smth. What discipline.

2005-07-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

Woah, Wan Li is such a WONDERFUL leader with so much foresight. She says, "We'll take abt ummm...a few hours to complete our GPP." She's so right, cos we spend the whole time at her BEAUTIFUL condo crapping, slacking, pigging out, watching Korean shows...anything but our GPP. It's so hilarious!! i got there late (cos i almost forgot abt the meeting) at abt 3, and stayed until almost 7. Oh man, we cld have done the thing in 1/2 hour. I love PW meetings when it's just the 4 of us. Poor Wan Shan is doing most of the work tho, so we feel pretty bad!! We're just "hua ping"s for show: WanLi's the vase made of shit, and me and WeiShan are the normal ones. WAHAHAHHA sorry insiders' joke.

Went kite flying with the 30 small kites strung tgt that were bought frm China. Went ECP with Dad, err Aunt and Dog. The kites are in 1 whole line so it's supp to form a really LOOOONNNG column up into the skies, we saw it in China and it looked damn cool so we bought 60. What I learnt: China kites are meant to be flown in China. We got them all tangled up and they kept flopping down...ARGH. Or maybe we jz lack skill. HAhaha and the dog drank seawater!! The look on her face was precious..

YES i have finally signed up for the Learning Fest. Got some boring courses, but at least i get to learn Thai heheh! Then there was Choir interview...URGH!! Good experience..will look back and rmbr my bitter humilation. HAha.

OMG school is really starting again lor...darn, how am i gonna survive??? SOBS, i wanna quit school so badly. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY QIZHU!!! I hope u and *ahem* have a good time ;)

2005-07-06T20:00:00.000+08:00

I'm racing back and forth between the comp and the TV now, cos I wanna surf yet wanna see the outcome of the IOC bids. I mean, how cool is that?! The IOC coming to Singapore?? At first I didn't think it was sucha big deal..then came all the bigshot names: Hilary Clinton, Tony Blair, Ian Thorpe, David Beckham, President of Spain (whose name I dunno, pardon me), etc...WAH PIANG. All of them, HERE, on my little island...so my chances of meeting them shld be so much higher cos Singapore is so small right?? SO why hafnt i seen a single LIVE glimpse of them??? GRRRR. I'm hoping Madrid will win, or Moscow...

Gave Jam her belated-by-only-one-day present today, so was feeling free of guilt in the morning haha. Then PIG Samme had to say "oh btw, it's CAROL'S bdae today." WTH. So had another bout of guilt to struggle with. Tmr, it's 7th pig's bdae...*SIGH*so many presents to buy, so little money. :(:( Btw, HAPPY BDAE, CAROL!!!

THANK GOD i wasn't sitting next to Jamie on Bio SPA day...else i wld surely fail. That pig, makes me laugh non-stop so my hands can't pour straight and measurements are always wacked up. Wah, today's practical was a laffing riot!!! Haha, dunno wad's so funny either, laffing for no apparant reason..im laffing now cos i'm thinking abt it and my mum just gave me a wierd look. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!! Pervert Jamie.

Got back some sections of Bio and Chem CT papers, hmm pretty happy with result which were better than expected. Still failed some tho..gee. Oh well, at least they'll add up to be RESPECTABLE fails. Always look on the bright side of life....

Oh gosh. I hope A is okay. No wonder A looked so sad today...how? But i doubt i can do much to help. Real sorry abt it tho.

Finally: AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH. OMG la. howhowhowhowhow?? nvm, dun say le. MALU-nation, ahaha...GOSH!

P.S: London won the bid. Shucks. Good thing I didn't place a bet with my dad. If not, it'll add up to the $38 i owe him from the last World Cup and EPL. Hope he fergets abt it.

2005-07-05T16:52:00.000+08:00

Exams are completely over, it's truly truly over cos today was the last of them. Bio pract was the easiest of da lot. Wa lau, i made a dumb mistake. You're supp to put a drop of yeast-alginate into calcium sulphate and it'll form a cute globule. Haha, i rmb staring at its cute perfect roundness for abt 10seconds or so. Then maybe cos i was so infaatuated with it, i misread the instructions. I tot it said to stir the calcium sulphate to break the bead up into 20 more globules so i kept stirring and stirring. Then i tried squashing it with the glass rod but it kept bouncing away. It just wouldn't split itself up. Then i re-read the thing and i REALISED that i'm supp to STIR the yeast-alginate so it wldn't settle and MAKE 20 more globules by dropping drops into the calcium sulphate. How idiotic.

Shit, it's back to school tmr. Since when did school start rite aft the exams?? It's supposed to END and let students slack aft all the mugging. Wad shit. And the best bit: PE lesson on the first day of skool...rocks my world, yay.

Ogay dun crap, cos here's da most IMPT bit: HAPPY BDAE, JAM!! I hope u didn't think i'd forgotten k?? I'll give u ur prezzie tmr, dearie. Have a happy 17th bdae, i wish u all the best and we must study l ike hell from now on..must fulfil study pact, yesyes?? Haha love you:)

2005-07-04T23:49:00.000+08:00

I'm lazy to the max, OMG and i can't believe school is gonna start AGAIN. I mean, when will it END??? Okay i bet i'll miss it all when I start working and i'll moan abt how life was sooo easy then... people always do that. But i really can't foresee myself dreaming abt how life was so good during school days when i was CONSTANTLY PILED WITH HOMEWORK THAT I HAVE SHIT IDEA HOW TO DO. At least, when i'm working, i'll prob have a mundane routine but i'll know i'll know i'll know i'll know i'll know (sorry, am listening to Taufik's ain't no sunshine :p) how to do my job. Now i'm learning abt differentiation and functions and what-nots that i'll NEVER ever use in my future job. WTH man. Seriously, why am i learning things that i won't use?? It's sucha waste.

Was interviewed by Geri today. I.N.T.E.R.S.T.I.N.G is the word i'd use. Haha, at least i know i interest a few people. Something abt Connecticut and publishing in a Bristol paper?? How cool is that. She sounds damn sweet over the phone, and i really admire her. She has a goal/ambition, gets down to finding opportunities for herself, makes gd use of her youth and time--> one step closer to her dream. And me? I slack, have no idea wad to do with my life--> FAILURE. I can't even bring myself to study, yay!

Oh well, at least i did a good deed today. Bravo to me. :):)

Proud of meself :)

2005-07-01T16:20:00.000+08:00

Oh man, i must compliment myself on my brilliant manipulation of HTML codes, altho i really really have no experience wadsoeva with the wierdo thing. WOW, i managed to get my posts to SHOW when previously they were blank, Yay i rock. But i really think this template looks 'hmmm'...haiyah but at least looks better than wad i can do on Photoshop rite. The post area is SO narrow! But i like the black colour..suits the mood.

Went out to Orchard today with Si Ling-o, Bearded Papa, J-Ash, KingKiu...took so many pics in wierdo places can?! Stop in the middle of the road, take a pic. Walk a while, then stop again cos the photo not nice, take another pic. Every 5metres, take a pic. At Macs, take 30 pics. In the toilet, take a pic (not IN the cubicle k? I mean, near the basins.) In the lift, ALMOST took a pic but gt blocked by pple. Haha that was a pic-taking outing. Then they went to watch A Lot Like Love but i din go:(:( cos needed to go meet MUGEB, who took so bloody long.....gr. Anyway, it was fun and good to see those ex-SAians, YAY!! Next time, the organisers shld plan WAY beforehand, mebbe not at 12am in the morn??!! Haha..go again, yes?

2005-06-30T18:08:00.000+08:00

YAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!! I've finished my common tests (mainly, cos still haf chinese and Bio SPA..but hu studys?) Yes. I'm so proud of myself...survived a whole week of mugging. Take note: a whole week...that means i spent 7 days cramming 4 subs. I am THE best. I must celebrate!!

Then...

BOOHOOO, crap I'm going to fail Bio, Chem, Maths, Econs...basically everything lar. I didnt understand a single thing the Bio paper asked me so I was tikam-ing for MCQ and leaving blanks for essay and structured. Maths sucked so bad, even Javier said he cld tell I didn't know what I was doing cos he saw me stoning at the bloody paper without writing anything. Argh, I might as well go sign up for senior citizenship in SA now..it's looks like i'll be there for quite a while. CRAP.

Let's not talk abt exams now, let's talk abt people. I'll start with the bad so I can end with the good.

The bad:
-YOU WEIRDO IDIOT YOU-NOE-HU-U-R, WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THOSE FRIKKIN MSGS??? I DUN GEDDIT ONE BIT, N SERIOUSLY IT'S UR FAULT COS U SHLDN'T HAF BROUGHT SO-N-SO, COS I THINK I MADE IT PRETTY CLEAR ABT A 1-ON-1. Fine, so since you brought him along, shldnt i be talking to him as well??? Wad's ur prob, u betta explain or i'll be so pissed with u for the rest of my fantastic life and u'll be miserable-- u can count on dat. (i'm not really pissed with u yet btw, so better be quick.)

-i can't stand ____ anymore! Actually i shld say i can't T it anymore. How I can anyone get...W at my frens but not to me, seriously thanks lah. I can't say ____ is mean or wadeva cos ____ is not. ___'s only like that to me and i'm S of P that i dun C. I'm T of having HB and i can't B anyone for it cos i'm doing it to myself. I know that. But what I dun get is what went so W that we can't even T like nomal F. I really dun get it. Maybe it was my F, i'll admit i was D and tried to A, but I've T to M it W! That took C, and ur not H. I H you for that. Can u imagine the C F i'm having here? It S me M and sometimes I get so D cos of Y. I'll be so H if you just S "H", if you'll just I a C. Please?

-I hate G: they're all jerks.

The good:
- Yes! Someone heard my wish and invited me back to Crescent!! Apparantly got some Bronze award and i'm gg just to see everyone and everything, and also cuz it's prb the last time i get a prize for good grades. Look at the results i'm having now! It's bullshit. Pals, I miss you!

-Finally going out with old pals...not exactly gg out rite, it's jz rotting at R's house haha. But hu cares, it's fun.

-I am the best. I held a convy with the people I didn't want to talk to, in my attempt to be a nicer person (than i already am haha.) It really took so much effort ,man, you so wldn't believe how much hesitation i was gg thru.

-Thanks for the invitation to do the interview Sam and Geri, it's cool.

-CONGRATS to Samme!! Invent. head huh? Nice one...Btw, pls arrange it so that the Co-op is CLOSED less often.

-There are some wonderful people in the class:):)

2005-06-23T18:55:00.000+08:00

Reply to posts:

Darrling Wai> You're the first person to wish me a welcome back haha! So thanks man!! My present to you was that wonderful piccy of Fairness but *sobs*, i think u really dun like him anymore. NVM cos u noe wad, i dun like Darkness anymore either. We're so rocking on the same boat cos i've also spent lots of time thinking abt the situation and i realised it's USELESS rite??? So heck them lah, buddy!! I'm glad we've come to our senses.

Sam> Cool rite haha!! I tot so too..ummmm, hu's Geri?? And why am i being interviewed?? Am i that famous? *winks*

Huimin> OF COS I MISS YOU, YOU PIG. Do u noe u slapped me so hard that it's difficult to forget u?? U pinch damn hard too lor!! Haha anyway, ur cousin's name is (i dunno how to spell) Jeryl/Jarrel Ling...i'm sure of the surname but his first name was a bit wierd lah..cldn't really catch it. BTW, u haf to help me out here!! When the UN guy asked me wad school i'm frm i said CRESCENT cos i'm so used to saying it, then he said "that means, ur in sec 4?" And i said yes cos i din want to malu myself by suddenly changing the name of my school. Then he asked me stuff like wad JC do i want to go to next year and all that crap, so i had no chance to correct him already!! Then when he intro-ed ur cousin rite, ur cousin was like "do u noe huimin? she's one year ur senior!" So i said i'm frm choir blahblah but u get the gist? So just in case he asks u, say i'm one year younger k!! If not i'll really malu myself!! ARGH how stupid can i get lor. I feel like LuLing now...lying abt my age but for no reason. Bleargh.

2005-06-22T00:23:00.000+08:00

I'MMMMMM BAAAAACCKK!! So anyone miss me? Wah, i sound so Jinger-ish now and guess what? I'm even missing that friggin wonderfully idiotic bung haha. I WANT TO GO BACK TO CRESCENT. I hatehatehatehatehatehate awkwardness, which is so overly abundant in my life now...ARGHHHHH! Where are you my darling crazy crezzy comrades? Where's Rai, Ling, Xinyi, Mugeb, Sham, Badd, Sam Ling/Yap, Huimin, Gel, Shir, Yongni, Steph, Minci, Limin, and the beautiful rest of CRESCENT??? I MISS YOU. SOBS. Okay, wadever, must stop moaning.

Good things are happening in my life so I'm feeling pretty high on life right now. China tripped rocked (really bonded with dad altho we're already close), saw all the sights, climb the Wall till my legs went numb, enjoyed the wonderful renown sanitation in China, learned to jump aside real quick upon hearing "HARRK" before the "TUI"...all in all, I more or less backpacked my way thru China. It's actually pretty modern, with skyscrapers and malls, so i didn't find myself sobbing in the countryside padi-fields i imagined. One thing I learnt: China is shopping haven so never go with daddy who CANNOT shop. Wah that's really my greatest regret, not being able to buybuybuybuybuy when everything is so bloody cheap and stylo..damn. And we had this bloody tour guide who LOVED to hold my hand till it was all sweaty and I just didn't know how to shake her off, so most of the time i was offering to carry things to keep my hands occupied.

Oh and there was this freaky train incident where my extremely violent father smashed a glass bottle over an idioticly crazy inconsiderate old man's head. There was so much blood and when I grabbed the assholic old man's arm to stop him from hitting my dad, he scartched me with his nails and gave me this painful bruise on my wrist when he exerted force. Got a small cut by flying glass shards but u shld have seen my dad's hand: He was holding the bottle so he got a really deep slash when it broke. The f***ing old man got pretty bad wounds too but I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, cos he slapped my dad for no stupid reason and deserves all the pain he can get. Police came and my dad had to pay 400 RMB for the arsehole's med bills. WTH. Can u imagine? All this just because the f---er wldn't be considerate enuf to turn off his mobile which sounded every 10mins and disturbed the whole cabin. His reason: he was recieveing "important company messages" (that he nv glanced at cos he was busy snoring while we were kept wide awake)-- turns out (policeman said)they were just welcome msgs from the local telephone server. WTH!! Then during the fight, his adult daughter rushed in and started slapping my dad so naturally I pushed her away while my dad was busy with the old F. Then we had a brief cat-fight (which thinking back, is damn stupid and rather hilarious) and i kicked her in the nose. Don't ask me how. I dunno either. That was totally the highlight of the whole trip i think. I shld just go be a gangster.

On the return trip, i travelled alone cos my idiot dad wanted to "train me to be independant"..anyway, i sat next to this old man (not the same as the above) and guess what? He is the Director of Special Projects of United Nations Asscociation of Singapore!! How cool is that?! And i talked to him for the whole 3hrs!! He told me loads of interesting things abt Singapore cos he's like part of the Heritage Board exco or smth. He owns a hotel in Malacca and is a partner in dunno-how-many high-tech companies..oh man oh man. THen he introed me to his apprentice and it turns out *drum roll*, he's Goh Huimin's cousin!! My jaw really dropped a million times during those 3hrs. Oh and other "celebs" i saw: the woman hu plays Mark Lee's wife in Police n Thief" , Hossan Leong and Melody (Chen/Chin??). Wow, i gotta get out more.

Had PW meeting today and had fun...we CRAPPED so bloody much!! The meeting lasted from 1030-430, cos we wasted so much time painting nails and talking abt korean shuai-ges haha, LAME. As usual, so-and-so din turn up for the meeting but hu cares.

Ode to Gel: I'll miss you!!! Wear your earrings we bought for you!! Keep in touch!! MUSTMUSTMUST!! Sobs, all my good pals are gg away...

I'm so gg to flunk CTs.

2005-06-08T23:06:00.000+08:00

ARGHH!! going to china tmr! how to study for common tests????!! ARGH!!

2005-06-04T15:55:00.000+08:00

This is so humiliating...argh. Today me and Ling went to meet maths tutor no. 2. I mean, after meeting the first one (who was so-so and really NOTHING special), I was feeling kinda fed up with all the tutors in the world. That's my reason for being VERY mean to tutor 2 over the phone. So today, we met before heading off to Clementi to meet the new guy. Oh man oh man, so embarrassing!! Especially after the way i treated him!!

When we finally found him in the crowd, i went "Woah" inwardly. He was COMPLETELY different frm what i imagined him to be..in Ling's words, he was HIP. I mean, he looked GOOD, really! Not the regular no-"class" kinda tutors...he had style!! Then the next surprise came. We took a bus to get to his home and we went past this road with the name "Ulu Pandan". The name jolted a memory abt a certain wealthy district but as i didn't think a tuition teacher wld live in such a place, i sorta dismissed the thought and told myself i got the name wrong...like Pandan Road or smth. THEN, i saw "Sixth Avenue". WTH lah. No mistake abt being in the rich district now.

So, got into his BIG BEAUTIFUL MANSION, complete with staircase, dogs, 3(or was it 4) maids, tons of classy furniture and sat down to begin lessons. HOW THE HELL DID HE EXPECT ME TO CONCENTRATE??? I was just gaping at the place and at his foolscap paper that said RJC. Oh gosh, every question we threw at him, he answered brilliantly. He was patient and enthusiastic abt the lessons, and he was even willing to give us the 1st lesson for free. I mean, are you getting my point here?? A good-looker with brains and brawn (still in NS), loaded with cash yet willing to work, patient and kind, ect ect...isn't that a complete fulfilment of everything on a girl's checklist? And he was still so nice after my being mean to him, damn damn damn. Gosh, i'll be a LOT nicer next time.

Yesterday, went out with Gel and Wai as a farewell outing before Gel goes off to NZ. I wanted to watch a horror movie but in the end (to Wai's delight) we decided on the cartoon, Madagascar. Bloody hell, the cinema was FULL of kids and we felt so childish just being there. Anyway, the show pretty much sucked and we were groaning abt how awful it was. I kinda liked this catchy tune that the racoon-things were singing tho:"I like to move it move it.." haha. Yeah and the weird thing was, there was this strange man sitting beside me during the show who kept putting his hand over the arm-rest till it was touching my bag on my lap. I got really irritated with that. After the movie ended, we didn't leave and when the next batch of movie-go-ers came in, we thought we'd blend in and watch the next show for free. Unfortunately it was the same stupid show and we din noe how to get out in the middle of it, so we just sat there for a while feeling stupid. Then this guy sat down beside Wai and started laffing at the movie-- Guess who it was. The same freak that sat beside me in the previous round. So he was laffing at the same things!! How weird is that. Must be a perv. Had a good laff tho and it was fun catching up with them...and as expected Shir didn't turn up. AGAIN.

2005-06-01T18:50:00.000+08:00

Don't understand what's wrong with me..i feel terrible. Not physically but mentally-- emotionally. It's like a mélange of sadness, desperation, frustration and worse still, helplessness. I know why I'm sad and it's because things aren't going too well now. I'm sensitive enuf to tell what's staying and what's abt to break up: I can't keep up with the pretence, I can't stand the tension, I can't stand being silent while I know there are things I shld say. Yet I can't say anything, simply because I don't know how or I go blank. Why aren't we closer? What's breaking us down?? We're falling apart and I don't know how to stop it.

But I just DON'T get why it's upsetting me so much. Maybe it's because I care abt you. Or maybe because I need to use you, so if you go, i'll be lost. Am I so despicable? Not sure. Right now, all I want is for us to bond so well that we'll be COMFORTABLE with each other. That's all. Sounds simple but it's so hard to do. I have a feeling it's my fault. Shit.

What the hell, i feel so horrid i dun even wanna talk abt other stuff but anyway shall give them a quick mention to show i hafnt forgotten abt them: Choir camp, China back-backing in June, bloody common test, stupid new tuition teacher, shitty piano exam, being so not prepared, got paid $50 for job, talked to Fairness but not Darkness (damn), want to shop, forgot Rai's bdae, not enough fucking time. Sorry, no damn mood to type anymore.

2005-05-26T14:04:00.000+08:00

Argh found out my PW group and I'm NOT happy. I was like "shit" when I heard the name. ARGHARGHARGHARGHARGH!!! Oh wth, the others are cool and i'm sure we'll be fine. I've made it a point to TRY and make friends, like being the first to say hi and join conversations with so-and-so. So after our first meeting in class, I'm pretty content..we've got a good group leader so hardworking (mostly) member so I hope we'll pull thru as a great team :) :)

Talking abt making friends, I realised i'm ignoring a lot of people for two different reasons. One: Because i'm trying to play it cool and look like i don't care abt them when I actually do-- A LOT. Two: I don't like them and I want them as far away from me as possible. I don't like myself for using the second reason but it's there and I'm trying to change it...really... i talked to that spastic what's-the-name group member altho the convie was totally one-sided (my side btw) bcos the person looked so uninterested. Oh, my pride. I know there's 3 of them like that and I will attempt to change. Yay! Luck to me!

2005-05-24T19:45:00.000+08:00

Whee!! Jesmine..YOU ARE THE BEST!! Seriously serious, you are the bestest courage-giver anyone could ever EVER find! Everybody, let me introduce to you the one and only courage-giver: JESMINE TAY...woohoo!! Thanks to this AMAZING friend, she has given me the opportunity and courage to talk to Darkness. OMG can you believe it?? This really is a happy day. Oh man, okay lah, i admit he only said 2 words to me, but it's a start. HAPPIEEEEEEE :D:D:D:D:D:D At first, I was OVERJOYED when i didn't see his name on the council board (meaning he didn't make it in so i wldn't feel inferior). Then Jes sudden;y said," Got what, number ____)" So that's when I saw his name and my heart just took a plunge. At that moment, he walked over to check the list and I said, " Did you make it to council? (he said "yarh" here) Congrats! (he said "thanks" here)"..so that was the magic conversation i held with him for less than 5 second. I didn't realise i was gripping her hand tight till Jes told me later..hehe, she's proud of me i know :P

I seriously hope that he doesn't blog-surf, just in case he finds my blog. Cos after me describing every detail of my "occurances" with him, it's gonna be quite obvious if he reads all this. But i'm so happy i just can't help it *grins*, got loadsa news for Samme tmr haha...wonder how her trip was, the lucky arse.

Don't know why i ran 3 rounds of the track for PE today..didn't even have to but i did. So dumb. Waste of my energy but just had a sudden urge to jog, haha what crap.

2005-05-23T15:09:00.000+08:00

I think my family genes are screwed up/cursed. Everyone is getting sick or dying. First, my mom's uncle's (who lives in Canada) son's girlfriend got raped and murdered. Then, my mom's cousin (46 yrs old) comes to Singapore seeking treatment for his liver cancer...can't be cured though, so sadly it's a matter of prolonging his life. It's strange bcos my mom's dad died of liver trouble too. This is mad. So many tradgedies happening within the year, and we're not even halfway thru!! But it's not been much of a mourning time for me, as I hardly know them...i'm just sad that things like these happen. Thank God that it's not my immediate family involved.

Went to watch Star Wars yesterday...you know, the Sith show. Not a fan of it, but it was cool..graphics: excellent; acting: excellent. But it was nothing special, compared to Lord of the Rings, it was putty. I admit, C.Hayden was hot in the show and that Padme girl real pretty. BUT so was Legolas, Aragorn and Arwen!! Ha, beat that , George Lucas. Drove there in my dad's new Hyundai Matrix...woohoo! It's really high compared to his previous baby, and the windows are BIG. Hope the dogs don't get into the car, cos once they're in, the fur never EVER gets out.

Am trying DESPERATELY to catch up on homework, but somehow or other, the June holiday mood always butts in and leaves me happily slacking around. Gee. Anyway, must go to SGH, again, and sit there for ages on end, again. I am so unsympathetic, shit me, i'm sorry i'm sorry. I mean, must go to SGH again to visit poor uncle and keep him company, because he is suffering and we're family. GOT THAT, SARAH?! Yes yes, i'm evil, shucks. Anyway, if any of you out reading this can, please pray for him and all the others out there who are in pain and suffering. Thank you and God bless, amen.

2005-05-20T17:15:00.000+08:00

*BIG FAT GRIN* You know the stuff i wrote abt in my previous post? You can just ferget it. I am mighty pleased with things now, am VERY EXTREMELY HAPPY with life almost everywhere. Things are cool now, we've no prob getting along, and when I have great friends, I'm more or less the happiest girl alive. Oh, did u note the 'almost' in the 3rd sentence? Yepp, it's because I'm not content with that stupid bastard who still daos me all the time. Resolution: I will say 'hi' one day (during my time as a J1 in SAJC).

Today when i went to the photocopy place to make a copy of my ic for that mass signing thingummyjig, i noticed 2 guys right at the front of the queue doing the same thing. Cuz i was busy talking to Feng, i didnt see their faces. (My view was blocked, anyway) I was right next to the photocopier at the door, so if i had leant on it, i wld have blocked off the only pathway out...a few seconds later, I SAW HIM. What the shit, he was so close cos the area is damn small and IF ONLY i had put my arm out or smth, he wld have no choice but to say "excuse me" if he wanted to exit. ARGHHHH. Then i cld have gone and said," oh sorry..oh hi! How was council?" ARRRGHHH. so friggin wasted.

I hate the name A---, everytime i hear it i shudder cos he knows my darkest decret and he's Darkness's best friend. What a play with words)I'll never make friends with anyone with the name-- I'll even stop buying from the cookie shop with the same name.

I got a lot of shocks today. I read on someone's blog that he killed a rat by pouring scalding hot water over it. My jaw dropped a mile when I read it. Then Jesmine told me that I was from the same pri school as S.K.Y's gf, so after giving her name some thought, I realised I knew her. And what's more, she was my GOOD ballet pal!! Now she's such a bitch. OMG and I don't like her bf much. I just staggered when I made the connection. Yuckyuckyuck. Will attempt to jog her memory when i have the chance and wake her up to the evil in him. Oh and apparently, according to Hana's blog, Isaac has the exact same kind of dogs as me. The exact number, the same breed...and I never knew. Omg, i really got some much needed wake-up jolts today. The worst one was definitly when Evadne asked me to go watch House of Wax with her and i said that i didn't mind. Then she was like " On arh? On arh?" and THANK GOD i asked who else wld be going before promising her anything: She already invited A--- and G.T along. I halfed choked during Worship in the morning.

Will be going with daddy to China in June. Very apprehensive about the toilet situation there..according to him, it's 50 times grosser than my school toilets can ever be. Eww. Nevermind, I'm tough. I'll ONLY start crying when my bladder and pyloric sphicter burst. Oh and i'll go buy a few hundred cheap Guccis there. :p

Consolation: G.T is going for mass signing thingy! Oh and can't wait for choir camp!! Took a bus home with Jee Cheng and tried to get info out of her abt the camp "games" but she wldn't spill. I'l find out soon anyway.. excited excited!!

Samme and Jesmine, do you know you guys rock? :D Strawberry Shortcake Jam, right? Haha, cute.

2005-05-17T19:55:00.000+08:00

Sigh. Very sad. There's a problem in my social life now and i HATE problems. You know when you make friends and it gets awkward?? Like you're the third wheel and ur butting in when they wanna have fun? Yeah, i felt like that today. It's not anyone's fault but mine, REALLY. I swear it's just sian-ness on my part. Hope it gets better, cos these friends are really really really VERY nice and they rock in their own way. It's just that things don't really fit at times, ya know? If you guys happen to read this and realise that i'm talking abt you, i'm emphasising it even more: IT'S NUTTIN TO DO WITH YOU AND I LOVE YOU GUYS. It's plain ol' me. It'll get better relax.